I don’t know about you, but sometimes I think God is really trying to get my attention, possibly because I haven’t been paying attention before!

Well, I feel like this is happening a lot lately and I’ve started looking around to see what He’s trying to get me to change. Because, ultimately, He wouldn’t be trying to hard to get me to listen if I were doing all the right things in the first place.

I keep hearing a song on the radio by Steven Curtis Chapman called Do Everything. I’d post the video here but experience has taught me that it wouldn’t work anyway, but go to YouTube and look for it if you don’t know the song.

The basic message is to “Do Everything You Do for the Glory of God.”

Years ago, I tried to figure out how that’s even possible. At the time I was the wife of a graduate student and the mom of a little girl about four or five years old. We were living in a trailer and seriously had no money. I was thinking about being a writer and people would suggest that I go to a book store and buy the kinds of books I wanted to write and study them. They just didn’t get that I literally didn’t have the money to buy books!

Doing my daily chores and life stuff for the glory of God just didn’t compute. How did defrosting a freezer or folding clothes glorify God? Didn’t I need to be praying endless Rosaries or going out and finding the homeless and bringing them back to my house to feed and clothe?

We actually did take care of a homeless guy for awhile but frankly, he wanted to drink and break windows more than he wanted new clothes or food.

Now it’s years later, and I’m older and I hope, more mature in my walk with Jesus. Last summer, when I went to RWA Nationals, I got a very strong feeling that God was reaffirming to me that He wants me to write. The speakers all seemed to be telling me that and even the missal at the church I went to Mass on Sunday morning had a picture on the cover labeled, “Jesus the Storyteller.” I felt like God was sitting next to me, saying, “Look, I gave you the talent and the desire to write. What are you going to do about it?”

A year has gone by and I’ve finished my book, sent it to an agent, and am still looking. I’m also working on the second book in the series along with a middle grade fantasy novel based on stories my son tells.

But if I’m getting this message that I need to do everything for the glory of God, what am I missing?

Well, of course I know. I’m not working hard enough on my writing. I waste a lot of time on computer games, Facebook, whatever.

And there’s more.

This was the year I said I was going to meet my weight loss goals, and that’s not looking so promising now. I hate tracking my food and I love ice cream.

But, I’m starting to get a new perspective. Today’s second reading this morning was Romans 12:1-2 and as I followed along in the missal I felt that 2×4 to my head (or my heart, maybe) again. Verse 2 especially:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Okay, so I’m now seeing things a little differently. When I want to do something, I’ve started asking myself, “Does this bring glory to God?”

If I’m folding clothes or cleaning the bathroom or emptying the dishwasher, I’ve started to realize that those things bless my family and I’ve been called to be a mom so if I do mom things then I bring glory to God.

If I sit down and write my word quota, then since I’m called to write, I bring glory to God.

If I spend an hour playing Word with Friends or Frontierville, I’m not bringing glory to God if my other tasks are being neglected. Games and pasttimes are not evil but they’re not my calling.

Sundays are a day of rest and I can play games then. I can also sew for my family and that’s renewing to my spirit, too, so I can bring glory to God by blessing my family with clothing or lovely things to look at or quilts to keep them warm. I can make gifts to bless others, too.

If I’m eating healthy food to nourish my temple of the Holy Spirit, I bring glory to God.

If I stuff my face with cake and cookies, to the exclusion of good food, I don’t.

I don’t know where this all will lead me but it’s a journey I’m looking forward to.

Good morning, cyber world. I know I haven’t spent as much time with this blog as I should, and I will start again and try to not neglect you again. Can’t promise anything. After I’m only human.

A lot has been going on in my part of the world. In fact, however, my part of the world has gotten pretty small lately. Basically, the size of my bedroom with small forays into the kitchen for sustenance.

Last Monday I received my radioactive iodine treatment. It was a simple, and at the same time, not so simple thing. After asking the radiology tech some questions about precautions, my family got “last” hugs and kisses and they were ushered out of the room. Then the tech put on a lead apron and rubber/latex gloves. Then she pulled out what looked like two small baked bean crocks. Two cups of water sat on the table next to me. She set the crocks next to me and opened one. They were clearly lined with lead, and she pulled out a small capped vial that contained one pill. She said it had to directly in my mouth so she “poured” it in and I drank one cup of water. We repeated this procedure and she quickly led me out of the waiting room.

I asked about the possibility of superpowers but she said no that wouldn’t happen. Bummer.

Anyway, as soon as I got home I came into this bedroom and except for people calling me and IMs and my family standing at one end of the hall while I peeked out the bedroom door to talk to them, I’ve been isolated to keep from radiating other people.

Today is my last day. Tomorrow I get to catch up on hugs from the Boy, who hasn’t been doing well in school this week. I have to wash all my bedding and clothings separately from the rest of the family and twice through the cycle. But that’s minor and it’s over.

On Monday I got back to the Radiology office for a full body scan to make sure the cancer didn’t spread anywhere. My doctor says by Thanksgiving I should be myself again.

Actually, I’ve been feeling pretty good this week except for stuffed sinuses that make it had to breathe at night.

I’ve started a new book and have written two chapters already this week. I finished three books I’ve been in the middle of reading for awhile.

The best part is all the friends who have called, emailed or IMed to see if I’m okay and ask how I’m feeling. It’s very heart-warming to know how many people care.

The Boy’s been seeing a language therapist and from what I hear, he’s doing great. He goes on Mondays after school, and we’re tryng to find a second day during the week that will work because she really needs to see him more often to have him make progress.

He’s going out trick or treating tonight, as a pirate. When the Girl was little I made all her costumes, but with all the thyroid stuff going on, we just didn’t get to it this year, but life is different that is was 13 years ago, too. I wasn’t a published author then and I wasn’t focused on trying to make this a career.

I’ll put an excerpt from the new book on the site. Check it out and give me some feedback. I’d love to know what my readers are interested in reading!

I hope you all have a great weekend! Check out the previous post and comment to win Jeff’s new book!

Yes, I did mean to blog every day but after two days there wasn’t much to say beyond, here it is, Day three, same ole same ole.

We had some personal stuff go on in the family. The Girl came home from college for the weekend. It’s not actually a SUPER big deal as she’s come home every weekend since school started, but again, the university is about 20 minutes from here and Beloved works there, so her coming home isn’t hard or anythingl

Saturday was HeartLA’s monthly meeting, just a week after our luncheon. Siince I found out about the cancer after the luncheon, I told them all about it and several people had friends who went through this so I got a lot of support and all that. The meeting wasn’t too exciting; our speaker forgot to come which was fine as we only had about 8 or 9 people there to begin with.

I didn’t go to lunch with them because Beloved’s car was on the fritz and the family usually goes to Chick-fil-a on Saturdays. Or at least the boys do. They couldn’t go if I didn’t come home with my car, so I went to lunch with them.

The Girl and I went to confession Saturday afternoon. I talked to the priest about how I don’t think I’m all that good a Christian as I don’t seem to automatically turn to Jesus when I’m in the hospital or at home. Even at Adoration the night before I didn’t really know what to pray for. I mean, God knows I want healing, and it seems selfish to ask for that. What if that’s not in His will for me? Anyway, I feel a little better. Father Tom is undergoing prostate surgery soon for his own cancer and he was trying to tell me that he thought his medical problems won’t be as bad as mine. Yeah, right, um, sure, okay. Anyway, I’m praying for him.

Sunday I was feeling a little more tired, but the Girl and I had tickets to High School Musical on Stage at LSU. I’d never seen it before, being not a big Disney Channel Movie fan, but the Girl needed to see it for her theater class. She didn’t know exactly where the theater was, so we did end up walking a bit which took a lot out of me by the time we got there. Fortunately, sitting in the theater made me feel better, and the walk back to the car wasn’t so bad.

The play? It was cute, but so predictable and kinda…cheesy. I don’t know what the big hype is. I know there are tons of people who just love High School Musical – I mean, they’re making High School Musical III so it must hit a chord somewhere — but I just don’t get it. If anyone out there does, please tell me what I’m missing.

Mass was fine, but I was tired. Several choir members talked to me after and offered support and prayers.

Yesterday, I was sleepy most of the day. Just didn’t sleep good Sunday night. I went to Weight Watchers and was down .2 which isn’t great, but at least it’s not a gain.

Today, I’m feeling a bit icky. Woke up with a cold like sore throat and have been coughing. I felt like I was coming down with one before the surgery but I think this one is a DIFFERENT cold as Beloved is feeling the same way.

Tomorrow, the Boy has an appointment with an audiologist and Thursday is our Stampin’ Up Hostess club, so I’m hoping I’m feeling better for those things.

Interestingly enough I felt better this morning when I got up. Spent a lot of last night trying to come up with a title for an inspirational romantic suspense about an ex-black ops guy who wants to put his past behind him and settle down in a small town but can’t because someone blames him for the death of a team member and kidnaps the new love in his life.

Today is also Adoption Day – the Boy became legally ours five years ago today.

We went to see the psychologist about his ADHD assessment and she said he doesn’t have ADHD; he has some language processing problems. We aren’t sure if his hearing is involved, but he had some limited hearing a year or so ago before had tubes put in and she thinks possibly that put him behind.

We’re going to have him see an audiologist and a language therapist. AND if he needs to, we will have him attend a different school as the one he’s in now is very tough and they move quickly through concepts. She says he’s just not getting some things.

Back to me, I don’t want to keep thinking about how terrible I’m going to feel soon because I don’t want to psych myself out about this and maybe make myself feel worse, but I want to be realistic that I am going to feel terrible soon.

Didn’t bake any bread today. Possibly later.

Well, I saw the endocrinologist yesterday, and yes, we’re going to do the radioactive iodine treatment in four weeks.

Starting today, I stop taking the thyroid hormone which means eventually I’m going to feel terrible, but we need to make sure the thyroid cells that are left are as receptive to the iodine as they can be. In two weeks I have to go on a no iodine diet – no processed foods, no cured meat, no dairy (we don’t know what the cows were treated with), and nothing baked that I didn’t bake myself. She suggested that this next week or so while I’ve still got energy I bake a lot of bread and put it in the freezer (just no prepackaged mixes).

Then after these four weeks of miserable-ness are over, I’ll be checked to make sure my TSH levels are as high as they need to be and then I’ll be given the radioactive iodine. After that, for 3-5 days I’ll have to kinda be isolated because any radioactivity not absorbed by remaining thyroid cells will be excreted from my body in various ways and I can’t risk contaminating my family or friends. So, separate beds, eating utensils and laundry, and no one within about five or six feet. So, no visitors!

I think it’ll be pretty easy here to do this as the master bedroom “suite” has its own bathroom and all. I have to figure out if we can get the computer in there, but I can probably get some writing, reading and maybe stitching done during this “retreat” period.

The doc said this kind of cancer can reappear after a number of years so I will be monitored. Oh, a full body scan will be done after the treatment to see if any unexpected cells light up from the radiation, which would be bad.

All in all, I’m not overly happy about all this (the low thyroid level sounds terrible) but at least it seems simple enough and it doesn’t require horrible chemo or anything like that.

I plan to blog about how I’m feeling and such. Today, of course, there’s nothing really to report and I have been taking the Synthroid in the mornings and today was the first morning I didn’t take it. Also, last night I didn’t take anything to help me sleep. I did seem to sleep okay, but woke up feeling like I want to go back to bed.

I went to the Y and did 36 minutes on the bike (31 plus a 5 minute cool down). Since on Sunday I did 30 minutes (plus 5 minute cool down) I decided to try and see if I could push it a bit. The 31 minutes wasn’t as hard as Sunday’s was, but still not the way I was before, knocking out an hour without a problem. Gotta work my way back up there I guess.

I’m having a shake this morning and then I think I’ll head to Hobby Lobby for a little while. All their scrapbook stuff in on sale and I need some white card stock to print up some scrapbook pages I’ve done. Also I want to get Halloween cards made this year and I bought cute rubber stamps for this last year and didn’t get the cards sent.

In other news, I’m reading Beloved’s manuscript for him and hope to get that done by the end of the week. He’s taking the Boy to Chuck E. Cheese tonight because he can now tie his shoes (the Boy not Beloved who has been tying his shoes for at least as long as I’ve known him.). I may stay home; I’m not sure yet.

Tomorrow we go to see the psychologist to get the results of the Boy’s ADHD assessment.

Busy week.

How’s everything in your neck of the woods?

Yesterday I saw the surgeon who took my thyroid out.

I saw him the day after the surgery and he told me that everything looked good; there had been no sign of cancer. This was a non-issue to me. I’d had nodules on my thyroid for about 15 years so the idea of cancer seemed unlikely and the endocrinologist said there was only about a 12% chance of cancer from the cells she saw, so cancer wasn’t my worry at all.

Yesterday I found out that there was cancer in my thyroid after all.

At first, I thought, wow, isn’t that interesting. The surgeon said that it was pretty much taken care of. That’s what you do with thyroid cancer. You take the thyroid out, and we had, so, therefore, it’s done. However, he wanted to talk to my endocrinologist to see if there was anything she wanted to do in the way of further treatment. He asked me to wait while he called her. He said she might want me to take radioactive iodine.

I sat alone in the exam room and tried on the label, “Cancer Survivor.” It just didn’t feel like it belonged to me.

The endocrinologist said she’d call me so I left and called my husband. He was upset and wondered where we go from here. I wasn’t worried or even concerned. To be honest, I was more amused. How funny. I had cancer and I didn’t even know it until it was over.

I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t even upset. It didn’t even seem like it mattered.

Then I got home from getting the Boy from school and there was a message from the endocrinologist’s office. They want to see me this afternoon.

Okay, that seemed like it might be a little more urgent than I would have expected.

I looked up radioactive iodine and while it’s pretty much a safe treatment with virtually no complications, it would require me to be isolated, at home, from people for about five days. This doesn’t sound like fun and it got me to thinking about all this.

I had cancer.

It’s kinda scary now that it’s set in.

However, I don’t think I want to identify myself as a cancer survivor.

My brother called and said, “You’re a cancer survivor and a transplant survivor. I’m going to send you Gloria Gaynor’s CD.”

I thanked him and said please don’t.

I don’t want to identify myself with my illnesses or my health issues. I’ve never been the kind of person to focus on the medical issues I have. I have my life and those things are just bumps in the road. Yes, I’ve had a transplant and I guess now I have to say I’ve had cancer, but I want to identify myself as a Catholic Mom and Wife and a romance and fantasy author.

How do you identify yourself?

Today I get a CAT scan done of my lungs. I’m not incredibly worried anymore, like I was when I first got the phone call telling me I needed to do this. I’m just a little stressed because the scan is scheduled for 1:30 and my daughter has a bowling match this afternoon and normally, I pick her up from school and take her to the bowling alley. I usually leave the the house around 2 pm (normally a little earlier) so I can get to the school and wait for her actually on campus. Her school is on a little road and if I don’t get their in time, I end up parked on the side of this road that has no shoulders, and I hate that.

Because I’ve been picking her up for games and practices for two years, she hasn’t really tried to find someone she can get a ride with. Today, however, she has to. You know how hospitals are; the scan is for 1:30 but I might not get in there until 2. I’m a little worried because I have to pick my son up at — well he supposedly is dismissed at 3:20 but the carpool people have to wait for the buses so we usually don’t get moving until around 3:30. I’m just praying that my 1:30 CAT scan will be done to let me get him!

So, the scan itself doesn’t bother me as much as the logistics of school dismissal.

Oh, let’s not forget that after I get the Boy, we’ll go to the bowling alley to wait for the Girl to finish. Then I’ll have to drive back here, drop them off and head over to the LSU campus for Financial Aid Information Night. The Girl got accepted there, so we need to know as much as possible about financial aid.

I hate that all of this is happening on the same day! I will head to the Y later and work off some stress and maybe get some endorphins going!

In one week, I’ll be 49 years old. Sometimes…no, make that all the time, that sounds older than I ever thought I’d get.

Do you remember those Disney World ads where the teacher asks the kids if they can figure out how old they’ll be in 2000? “You’ll be about my age,” she says, and one of the kids whispers how “We’ll be too old to do anything!” Then it shows a couple in their late 30′s/maybe early 40′s in Disney World having a ball.

Well, I remember being a kid and figuring out that I’d be 40 years old when the year 2000 rolled aorund and thinking “I’ll be almost dead!”

Here I am, one week shy of 49 and amazing, not almost dead, things have happened since I saw the year 2000 come in without the big disaster the Y2K bug advocates predicted.

I had a kidney transplant and am in better shape now than I was before, due to a YMCA membership.

We adopted a beautiful, smart and funny little boy who was only eight weeks old the first time we held him, but is now 5 years old and truly the light of our lives.

I published two of my novels, including the book of my heart, Attack of the Queen.

Through all of that, it’s hard to believe how old I am. I remember my mother, the day she turned 48, coming home from work (she was a registered nurse and day supervisor) and complaining about her age.

“You’re only a day older than you were yesterday,” my dad said.

“It sure looks different on paper.”

49 seems impossibly old. 45 hit me hard as did 40.

I don’t feel that old. I’ve never been one to lie about my age. I never quite got the hang of it. When do you start? How do you know what number to use? What about people who know better? It just seemed easier to me to be upfront about it. People always seem surprised, and that feels good, but I guess I’ve never understood the need for lying about it.

My husband told me once that I am “utterly without guile.” I guess that’s a good thing.

Anyway, if you aren’t doing anything next Tuesday, drop me a note saying hi. I don’t think I’ll be too old to respond!

Yes, it’s been over a month since I posted anything here. I can’t believe I let it go so long. How many blogs that you read say that now and then?

Where I have been since 21 Dec? Well, we had Christmas, of course, which was nice. I got a lovely bread machine from my in-laws. It was label as for both Beloved and myself, but let’s be honest. I will put the stuff in to make the bread and all of us will eat it. Today I’m trying a recipe for beer and cheese bread, but it turns out we’re out of beer so I used some wine so it’ll be an interesting experiment. It’s baking now and I have to say it smells good, anyway!

For New Years’, we went up to Ohio to visit my family. It’s a very long car trip and we did it in our smaller car, a red four-door Mazda. The problem is that my van has become temperamental and sometimes decides just not to start when I turn the key. We didn’t really want that to happen on the road to Ohio.

We celebrated Christmas up there, too, and that was nice. Pepper got to get some bowling in with my brother giving her some pointers that seem to have helped her scores. My father was an amazing bowler and at one time considered leaving the military to go pro. Some of my earliest memories are of sitting in a bowling alley while he bowled in a league and being sure that his ball had eyes because it always went where he wanted it to. The pins just seemed to explode!

We are now back to our normal routine, except for my short stay in the hospital earlier this week with a bout of pneumonia. Because of my kidney transplant and the meds I take for that, they didn’t want to risk the infection getting out of hand so they kept me in the hospital for three days, bombarding me with antibiotics. Everyone I know who has had this before was sick for weeks and weeks, but today I’m actually feeling pretty normal. Not tired and weak. However, I’m skipping my writers’ meeting tomorrow because I don’t want to push myself too much. I’m good saying at home, but going out for several hours might be too much.

Plus, all the family will be gone for awhile so I’ll have the house to myself. I can get some editing on Sword & Illusion done.

I hope as the days countdown to the big holiday you’re all doing well!

Things here took an interesting turn Tuesday night. My inlaws arrived Tues afternoon and I’d been feel very sleepy that evening, so I took a little nap. That night as I lay down on a sofa in the rec room, my stomach started to hurt and continued to a point where I couldn’t straighten up and it felt like a knife in my belly.

At around midnight, I guess I woke up my husband he took me to the emergency room. After about an hour of waiting in the exam room (pretty fast for an ER) I saw a doctor who had the nurse insert and IV and gave me Benadril for a rash I’d developed that came and went (stress, I think), an anti-nausea drug and pain meds that made the room spin and caused me to fall asleep between sentences in the conversation. I had an X-ray done and a CAT scan (pretty scary to fall asleep between the instructions “Take a deep breath and hold it” and “Breathe normally.”)

Some of you don’t know that I had a kidney transplant almost 7 years ago. Turns out that a cyst on one of my own kidneys was bleeding and that caused the pain, which apparently was referred since it was nowhere near the organs! They admitted me because they were afraid of the cyst bleeding out. The transplanted kidney looks fine and my creatinine (measurement of kidney function) is well within normal range.

I was in the hospital until this afternoon. While I’m home I’m still in a little pain (maybe a 1 instead of a 9) and not feeling great, so I’d appreciate prayers that I will continue to recover.

Thank for your support everyone!