“When we are set free from the bondage of pleasing others,

when we are free from currying others approval-

then no one will be able to make us miserable or dissatisfied.

And then, if we know we have pleased God,

contentment will be our consolation.

~Kay Arthur-

I think one of the big lessons I’ve learned in my life is that it’s useless to worry about what other people think about you. You’ll never please everyone, and someone will always have something critical to say no matter what you do.

I decided to become Catholic about 13 years ago, after a lot of struggle and prayer. Beloved came to the Church through an intellectual process; he read Church Fathers and realized that the things they taught are what the Catholic Church teaches now. My trip was more about realizing that the doctrines made sense and I saw the Catholic Church standing firm on issues like contraception and abortion when all other “denominations” watered down their beliefs or caved in completely to society.

I don’t care to live the way society tells me to live – it’s not good for my soul to try to conform to what the media or the loudest voices say.

I’ve had to struggle to keep my convictions strong and that struggle has strengthen them. My birth family, all of whom are very dear to me, is not Catholic and there have been some moments of contention about that, some of them quite emotional and harsh, but I have to go with where I believe truth is.

Recently, the issue of standing up for your convictions in the face of vocal dissent came home to me. Last night, in fact.

A political discussion/emotional debate has broken out on the email chat loop of our local RWA chapter. Someone innocently posted what I call a “Yea, America” essay that’s been going around the internet. One of our active members spoke up, pointing out that the essay wasn’t by the supposed author, then went on to lay out her opinions which she unashamedly labeled as liberal. She made the unfortunate claim that “die hard conservatives” aren’t willing to read or hear any other opinions. She also said she’d debate anyone as long as they proved back up for their facts. She provided none for hers.

I answered in a brief email that basically said I was offended by her contention that I wasn’t willing to read any other opinions and stated that she demanded proof for my statements but offered none ofher own.

She came back with an apology for the offensive comment but said that while she knew what she said was true (i.e. people having to choose between putting gas in the car and feeding their children), there was no documentation to “prove that.”

I let it go after that because I’m not a good debater and last year I was “tarred” with the “rude and mean” brush by members of the chapter. I wasn’t willing to risk that again.

Then a friend came home from a trip to all this and spoke up quite vehemently on the conservative side of the issue. Her posts were passionate and accurate, and I began to fear, as the posts went back and forth, that tempers were running high and our chapter could split.

Last night, I privately emailed my friend and we chatted a bit about what has been going on and she said that no one was stepping forward to defend either position – it came down to her and the other woman posting alone.

I had written my own emotional email, outlining some of my personal experience, mainly about the birth/adoption of my kids and how that affected my pro-llife stance, but I had only sent it out to a couple of people.

When I realized that my friend had the courage to stand up for her convictions and was doing it alone, I felt the need to stand up for mine, so I rewrote the post, providing links to articles backing up my statements, and posted to the loop.

I haven’t heard anything yet, except praise from this this friend about my ability to use words, and I went to bed last night worried about the fallout.

However, when I saw today’s quote, I thought about it. I hadn’t flamed anyone nor posted anything but my own opinions and if I’m not willing to be vocal about pro-life and family issues, how can I expect to be an effective witness? If I am so worried about being considered rude and mean that I don’t stand up for what I know is right, what good am I?

Pleasing others is not the way to eternal life. People will always let you down. God is the only one I need to please, and I pray that my words last night, and here, please him and I am truly sorry if they don’t.

Today is apparently Filch it Friday, something I was unaware of previously. My friend, Domestic Goddess, got this from someone else, and I’m filching it from her.

She asked readers to tell her their pet peeves in FIFTEEN WORDS (Fifteen word Friday or something like that).

So, here goes.

Teenage girls who drive my car but say they can’t afford the gas. I can?

People who think turn signals are optional and that I should still let them out.

People who think romance novels are stupid and trashy. Try writing one and see me.

This is a very hard thing to do. Harder than I expected so I’m going to stop at three. If anyone can come up with anymore, post them in the comments! I’d love to see how you did.

Okay, possibly it’s because it seems to pile up faster than I can deal with it, but honestly, how does a family of four wear so many clothes and yet have so many in the laundry all the time? Right now I have about five or six bag of clothes in the back of my van waiting for me to find one of those big square bin things you drop off things for charity. Most of those bags came from the Girl’s room, but at least a couple were filled with stuff Beloved and I don’t wear and the Boy has grown out of.

So you’d think with all those bags being given away, there wouldn’t be so much in my laundry pile, but you’d be wrong. Right now two hampers of stuff from the Girl sit in my laundry room, which is little more than a laundry closet. There’s a big pile of dark colored clothes in my room and some cast offs here and there in the bathroom and on Beloved’s side of the bed, where he takes off his socks.

All of this in addition to clothes in the Boy’s room that need to be washed. I despair of ever catching up.

Where are the paper garments I was promised when I was in high school? Oh, in the “future” (which is where we are now!) we’ll have paper clothes and you’ll never need to do laundry again.

Do you think my family will let me just leave the dirty clothes if I tell them I’m waiting for paper???

It’s a holiday weekend here in the U.S., so let’s keep today’s question simple–What are you reading? Anything special? Any particularly juicy summer reading?

Right now, I’m reading Knock Off (A Finley Anderson Tanner Mystery) by Rhonda Pollero.

Other books in my to be read pile right now are:

1. Convicted of Love by Jo Templeton – a friend of mine and critique partner.

2. Summer Knight (The Dresden Files, Book 4) by Jim Butcher. The Girl has read all of them in this series (so far) and has been bugging me to finish them so she can talk to me about them. Oh, and so has my brother.

3. Figure 8 by Tammy Riviere, another friend.

4. The Manolo Matrix by Julie Kenner.

5. Eclipse (The Twilight Saga, Book 3) by Stephanie Meyer. Another series the Girl got me hooked on.

6. Come Back, My Love by Sylvia Rochester, another friend.

7. The Prada Paradox by Julie Kenner.

8. Death Masks (The Dresden Files, Book 5) by Jim Butcher.

9. Choice Makers by Eleanor Cocreham, another friend.

10. Real Vampires Have Curves (Glory St. Claire, Book 1) by Gerry Bartlett.

11. Real Vampires Live Large (Glory St. Claire, Book 2) by Gerry Bartlett.

12. Cranford (The World’s Classics) by Elizabeth Gaskell. I watched the program on Masterpiece of this book and I enjoyed it. Very different from what I usually read, but I’m eager to see what it’s like.

13. Marked (House of Night, Book 1) by P. C. and Kristin Cast.

Do you like my piggie? I love that she’s reading!!I hope it’s my book.

Anyway, you can see me and pick up a copy of either of my books just by checking the personal appearance page. I’d love to see you all there!

Wednesday Weirdness

1. Do you ever do your own fireworks show in celebration of the 4th of July? Do you go watch a display somewhere else? How do you celebrate? We’ve never done our own fireworks show. Usually we go to some community sponsored event, although when we were in Germany we went to someone else’s house for New Year’s and watched all the neighborhood try to blow themselves up with firecrackers that rolled under cars and sparklers thrown into trees! For the Fourth we usually grill something and then head to the levee by the Mississippi to watch the fireworks.

2. Do you ever buy extra fireworks while you can to stockpile and have extras packed away for whenever you feel like using them? No.

3. Would you ever get anything below the waist pierced? No.

4. Would you ever join the military? I was in the Army for three years after high school..

>5. What is your favorite kind of cheese? When we were in England, we had Stilson and I think that’s the best cheese I’ve ever had.
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6. What are three things are you terrible at? Skiing – Beloved tried to teach me when we were dating, but I’d rather sit in the lodge and have hot chocolate.
Diving – just never learned and have no desire to.
Being quiet – when around other people I just tend to talk all the time. I’m good at being quiet alone.

7.Do you always wash your hands after you use the restroom? No. Gotta be honest here.