I found this story and video on Modestly Yours. It’s nice to see young people talking about abstinence is actually practical in their lives and that there are benefits far beyond not getting pregnant nor getting an STD.

As an NFP teacher, I know that abstinence isn’t only a problem for teens. Many couples have problems with NFP because it requires some time of abstinence, and it seems that the majority of those who express this objection didn’t abstain before marriage either. So, why should they abstain after marriage, especially with contraception is so readily available??

Our culture is so rife with sexual images and messages, of course the idea of abstaining is ridiculed. That is one of the things on the video that I loved. The only male on the panel told Meredith Veira that he chose abstinence because he wanted a lifestyle that would give his peers reasons to make fun of him!

Of course, he was kidding, but what struck me about this story was that all the proponents of abstinence were well-spoken and clean cut and looked so wholesome. I remember years ago watching a Phil Donahue show where he had “fundamentalists” – both Christian and Muslim, I think – on his show. This was long before 9/11 so he wasn’t trying to make the Muslims look worse than Christians.

In fact, I think he was trying to make the Christian family look like dangerous fanatics. I only watched long enough to find out that both families were “ruled” by the father and the Christian daughter wasn’t allowed to answer any questions. Her father answered for her. I honestly didn’t see the Muslim family answer anything that I remember because it was so blatantly obvious that the message was that religious people of any culture are somehow fanatics.

One thing Phil talked about was that the Christian girl said she wouldn’t kiss a boy until they were married, I think. Maybe it was engaged, but it was certainly not on the first date or any time after that. It might even be that she wasn’t allowed to even hold hands.

Okay, this is taking things pretty far, but of course Donahue had found the most fanatical people he could to make anyone who suggested that kids not be allowed to get “physical” before marriage look crazy. This was when I turned it off.

My daughter is 18 and yes, I can’t control what she does, but I do know that she’s asked her father and me for a purity ring, and has talked to me about friends of hers who aren’t virgins anymore and some of their struggles. So, I think I’m safe in assuming that she’s remained abstinent, and she had a boyfriend she hid from us for awhile. Yes, there were a few issues when we found out!!

I think the idea of teens not be “able” to remain abstinent is insulting to our children. My daughter’s doctor asked if she wanted to have that HPV shot. I was in the room and said, “You can’t get that virus unless you have sex, right?” The doctor said yes that was right, but apparently the earlier you get the shot the more effective this is. So what this means is if you want to make sure that your teenage daughter won’t get HPV WHEN she has sex, get her inoculated at nine years old! I know that’s the message of all those “One Less” ads, but it drives me crazy that parents would rather just assume their child is going to be sexually active and give them a shot instead of just saying, “Hey, save it until marriage and you won’t have to worry!”

I guess Donahue would love me because I’m apparently a fanatical Christian!

I know that most of you out there won’t be buying me a gift (but don’t feel that you can’t if the mood hits!) but you might know a writer (published or unpublished) who would love something from this list. I know I would!

Now, my dilemma: What do you buy for the person you can never shop for?

In our family it’s my father-in-law, Marine Guy. He is the type of person that just goes out and gets what he wants and that never leaves anything for any of who love him to get for the holidays. This year, he and my mother-in-law, Queen Mum, are coming her for Christmas, as they have every year since we moved down here. So, Beloved asked her what to get Marine Guy and we found out that he’d bought himself a waffle iron, is having it shipped here so he can unwrap it Christmas morning and take it back to NJ with them!! Something about only being able to get what he wanted at that one store for the best price or something.

Still, doesn’t it sound like there’s something wrong there?

What ideas do you have for something to give the person who never needs anything?

It’s kinda the same with Beloved. He doesn’t have much in the way of hobbies, except his computer and honestly, how do you buy a programmer something when you’re lucky enough to be able to add links to your blog? He used to ask for theology books, but he has kind of backed off from that for a bit. He’s heavily into his writing, almost more than I am with mine (no, no guilt on my part), but I have a ton of writing books so he really doesn’t need any of those. I always want to get him something really special, something he’ll remember and exclaim over, but honestly, every year I fail at that.

Oh, there’s that “f” word – fail. Sorry.

Kind of having a bad/depressed morning. The writing isn’t going the way I want it to (when has it ever?), money is always an issue, and my whole weekend is pretty much booked, so there won’t be much time for relaxing. And there’s the weight loss issue.

Anyway, this post is getting off track.

What ideas do you have for special Christmas gifts?

Today it is my extreme pleasure to introduce you to Heather Garside.

Heather grew up on a cattle property in Central Queensland. As a child she loved horses, books and the bush and these are still passions of hers. She and her husband now have a cattle and grain farm. She has two young adult children, a son who’s doing a boilermaker’s apprenticeship and a daughter who is presently living many miles away in South Australia.

Heather first began writing at the age of seven and published her first novel when she was in her early twenties. At that time many towns in Central Queensland were celebrating their centenaries, and this helped inspire her historical novels set in the pioneering days. Having babies interrupted her writing and she didn’t seriously return to it until many years later.

As well as being a member of the Queensland Writers Centre and the Romance Writers of Australia, she belongs to a local writers’ group which meets once a month. They’ve published two books of short stories, in which some of her work has been included. She has also had short stories printed in other anthologies.

Heather is one of a group of volunteers who once a month put together a newsletter of the happenings around her town. She works part-time at the local library and, of course, at home on the farm.

Thanks, Heather for agreeing to this interview!

You published your first book in your early twenties. How did that change your life?

It didn’t change it significantly. I spent a lot of time canvassing bookstores, and was young enough to take rejections to heart! Fortunately for me, there were a lot more openings for self-published books in those days, before the national chains dominated the marketplace.

You write both novels and short stories. How different do you find those two forms and do you favor one?

I prefer writing novels as my ideas are usually too big to be encapsulated in a short story. Most of the short stories I’ve written have been aimed at a particular project, and wouldn’t have been written otherwise. My favourites of them are on the long side – 5-6,000 words.

When I was growing up, all my friends who read romance wanted to visit Australia. As a resident of Australia, is there somewhere else in the world you consider exotic and romantic and you’ve always wanted to visit?

Earlier this year I was able to realize a dream by visiting Canada’s Rocky Mountains and Alaska. I would also love to visit Britain, Europe and the USA. I’m sure my desire to see Greece has been inspired by Mary Stewart’s use of that country as a setting for some of her novels.

What is your writing routine like?

I don’t have a set routine. My days vary with work on the farm, part-time work at the local library, and volunteer activities. I tend to write when I can fit it in!

What does your family think of your writing?

I’m sure my children (both young adults now) think it’s a bit weird having a writer for a mother, although my daughter enjoys reading my books. My husband is a rather blasé about the whole thing – or pretends to be! My mother and siblings seem to be quite proud of me.

Where did you get the idea for The Cornstalk?

In the 1980s many towns in Central Queensland were celebrating their centenaries. Most of them published books to mark the occasion, and one of these publications, featuring a tiny town called Banana, caught my imagination in particular. Banana was actually settled earlier, in the 1860s, and began life as a teamsters’ town. It seemed a fitting setting for my hero, an ex-teamster.

Is there a story idea that you’ve wanted to write for a long time, but for some mysterious reason, it just won’t let itself get written?

No, I haven’t experienced that problem. I do find my story ideas morphing somewhat from the original as I write.

Are you a member of a critique group and if so, how useful has it been to your work?

I’ve been a member of a face-to-face group for seven to eight years and an online group for the last two. The online group is very pro-active and has helped me a lot. The face-to-face group was also an enormous help in the early years, but hasn’t been as active recently.

What is one thing you learned since you first got published that you wish you’d known before?

The main thing that comes to mind, and this is specific to my situation, is that I would have ordered more books for local sales. Some of my orders have been extremely slow coming to Australia and I’ve been without books more often than I’ve had them!

Do you have any advice for aspiring authors?

Join writing organizations (such as RWA) and writing groups, although critique groups must be approached with caution. Some people can be negative in their critiques and this can destroy a new writer’s confidence. Study the craft by attending workshops and reading how-to books. Study how your favourite authors do it! And keep persevering.

Is there anything else you’d like my readers to know about you?

If you’d like to know more about me and my novels, visit my website at www.heathergarside.com or my Myspace page at www.myspace.com/heathergar

Thanks, Heather, for being with us today!

Rather than join her wealthy parents in England, Louise Ashford sets off to work as a governess in the frontier settlements of the Australian Outback. She finds herself in the company of a young cattleman of convict descent, a man she knows will never be accepted by her family.

Their passionate love affair is brought to a sudden end when Louise’s brother intervenes, carrying her off to England. The pain of separation is compounded by a cruel deception, and there is more suffering and shame in store for Louise. She finally returns to Australia, but can the issues dividing the lovers be resolved?

A review of The Cornstalk:

“With beautifully written prose Garside creates characters of exceptional depth–ones that take root in your heart and grow. Louise Ashford, a gutsy and strong Englishwoman takes her future into her own hands rather than allow herself be forced into marriage.

Set against an Australian backdrop, she faces both physical and emotional danger with a fortitude that commands respect and compassion. The Cornstalk is a fast-paced and engaging story of pride, jaw-clenching determination, and romance. This is a truly captivating story from a talented storyteller.”

Marilyn Gardiner – Author of Dancing Ladies, Flight of Angels, My Pretty Lady

Well, the holiday season has started. Tomorrow is the last day of school for the kids until the Monday after Thanksgiving.

Again, as we did last year, we’ll have guests and have a big Thanksgiving blow-out.

In 2004 and 2005, we ate the November holiday meal in restaurants. In 2004, my brother and sister-in-law, Baby Bro and Bell Woman, invited us to Ohio for Thanksgiving. As they lived in an apartment at the time and Country Lady (my mom) was also going to be there from Pennsylvania, they took us to Cracker Barrel for the meal. Not exactly a Norman Rockwell holiday. Add to this that the cranberries and sweet potatoes had oranges in them that aggravated Beloved’s allergies (as did Baby and Bell’s cat!), it wasn’t a perfect Thanksgiving.

In 2005, we’d just moved to Baton Rouge and discovered that the Girl had the whole week off (the Boy wasn’t in school yet) so Beloved took it off, too and we went to Orlando to visit Universal Studios. While that was fun and a great vacation, we ate the Thanksgiving meal at a Golden Corral.

So, it made sense that last year, Beloved announced that he wanted a traditional meal with five side dishes (five people would be eating – our family and one guest!), two kinds of pie, a HUGE turkey and rolls and all that. He missed a family holiday.

This year I decided to suggest that we pare down a little but as I brought the subject up he told me he’d invited three people from work and wanted the same blow-out meal. We found turkeys at our local Winn-Dixie for 49 cents a pound and he picked up a 22 pound bird! At that price, I went back later in the week and got a 14 pound one to stick in the freezer.

I’d love some side dish recipes if anyone out there has any great ones.

If you’re interested in how this affects my weight loss journey, check out my other blog.

I got the idea for this post from Rocks in My Dryer, but I’d been thinking about blogging some of the stuff my little one says and this is a great opportunity to do that.

My children are eighteen years old and five years old. Our son was adopted when our daughter was twelve years old, so in honor on National Adoption Awareness Month (thanks to Perky for alerting me to this) I’m using purple for my posts this month.

Of course, she’s a girl, he’s a boy, but the differences go so much deeper.

The Girl was a delicate little flower as a child, careful and safe. We never had to baby-proof anything because she never really got into anything she shouldn’t.

The Boy climbed the moment he realized he could and knew no fear, diving head first off the couch and climbing out of his crib.

The Girl seems to have inherited my medical problems and her father’s height, but did not get any of the allergies that plague her father.

The Boy has the same allergies as his dad and in many ways, they are worse (he was adopted, remember!).

The Girl was always quiet in school. We were always surprised when her teachers told us that she was quiet because she blabbered all the time at home.

The Boy gets in trouble for talking during work time and rest time at school.

The Girl watched The Little Mermaid over and over again until I can recite the whole movie from heart.

The Boy ran toward a creepy bloody face on a DVD box at Blockbuster and demanded (at age 3!) that we rent this movie! (Um, NO!)

The Girl believed everything we told her about Jesus from the time she was able to say “Jesus made me.” She never questioned her faith, at least not in our hearing.

The Boy questions EVERYTHING! Mass is an interesting experience with him. I told him one Sunday to turn around and face front because we weren’t there to pay attention to the little girl behind him.

Me: “We’re supposed to be paying attention to Jesus.”

Him: “Oh, sorry. I didn’t see him there.”

We have many interesting theological discussions as I try to tell him what I can about the Eucharist and our faith. Whenever the priest holds up the host and says, “This is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. Happy are those who are called to his supper.” I tell the Boy to look.

Me: See? It’s Jesus.

Him: I don’t see any eyes.

One day, as we were talking about how he behaves in school, I told him that he maybe should pray to God and ask for help.

Him: God is just a statue in Church.

Nope, this is not going to be a kid who believes easily. I pray that like Jacob, if he has to wrestle with God, he will come out blessed and strong in his faith.

From Louisiana Book News.

Heart of Louisiana Luncheon The inaugural author luncheon of the Heart of Louisiana chapter of Romance Writers of America was a huge success. On Oct. 13, dozens of authors participated in the meet, greet and learn at Drusilla Seafood in Baton Rouge. The lunch speakers were the incomparable Erica Spindler and Hailey North of New Orleans, who gave fun, educational and inspiring speeches. Both are best-selling authors. Spindler writes tingling suspence, such as Copy Cat and Last Known Victim. North’s Avon contemporary romance, titled Not the Marrying Kind, will hit shelves in November.

Heart of Louisiana authors appearing at the inaugural Heartla Luncheon Oct. 13 in Baton Rouge. From left, Sylvia Rochester, Elaine Grant, Eleanor Cocrehan, Cheré Coen, Jo Templeton, Kathy Brandt and Tammy Riviere.

All of the authors participating in the inaugural Heartla luncheon in Baton Rouge on Oct. 13.

Today it is my great pleasure to introduce you to Carol McPhee.

Carol lives in Nova Scotia, Canada, with Karl, her husband of forty-five years. With their four children grown and flown, there is time to enjoy researching locations that will give authenticity to her novels. As soon as she finishes one story, another is burning in the back of her mind, its characters prodding her to let them out.

Hi, Carol! Thanks for joining us today.

You’re a multi-published author. Have you found that your life has changed since you sold your first book?

Yes, I don’t recall receiving such wide-spread admiration before. (And don’t I eat that up!!) Also I spend a great deal more time on things other than actual writing. Promotion is time-consuming, as is learning new techniques and critiquing other works so their writers will critique mine.

What is your writing routine?

I start my day at 4am answering emails from other writers and doing fresh writing on whatever story is my work in progress.

Where did you get the idea for Alaskan Magic?

I had been on two cruises to Alaska and loved the wildness of the state. When we decided to go again, I knew I had to begin a story that could evolve with our trip. I also wanted to use older characters to add additional texture to the rich setting.

Do you see yourself in Amanda Bennington? In what way?

Oh, yes. Amanda’s penchant for facing a challenge with whatever is at her disposal is definitely me.

How about Retreat to Danger? Where did that idea come from? Do you know?

I live in a coastal province of Canada and therefore the sea has a strong influence on me. It was natural to want to do a story with a marine setting. I think the idea of the story itself came from my two favorite movies…Man Without A Face and The Perfect Storm.

What kind of research did you do for Retreat to Danger?

The setting is Maine so I traveled the scenic route 1 along the coast to pick up the atmosphere and setting details. I visited wharves to study the types of fishing boats used and googled information on lobster fishing.

Now we come to Undercover Trouble. Did you interview members of motorcycle gangs to add realism to the story?

I interviewed a couple of motorcycle gang members, two prison guards, a local police officer and a Mountie. I like to have my facts realistic.

What is your advice for people wanting to write suspense?

Be thorough in your research, concentrate on creating tension through settings as well as through relationships and don’t make the ending predictable.

How do you blend the suspense and the romance?

I blend it with great care to not let one overpower the other.

Do you have a book idea that haunts you but you just can’t seem to make it work?

I have an idea for an historical romance but I’m not sure I can work a full length novel that will hold my interest that long, let alone a reader’s but time will tell. I need to do more research before I commit to it.

What kind of advice would you give a new writer?

I would recommend two things…persist with your dream and write something everyday. These have worked for me.

What are you working on next?

I’m working on another suspense. The wife of a famous artist is found dead at the base of his studio. Because the husband shows no sign of grief and has only a flimsy alibi, a detective suspects foul play. He sends a novie psychologist into the household to see if she can find any grounds for his hunch. Unforeseen circumstances interfere with her investigation in surprising ways. This may be my last suspense for a while. Suspense is harder to write than a straight romance because each plot point must be kept track of and eventually come to a satisfying conclusion for the reader.

After forty-five years of marriage, your husband must be your biggest fan. Has it always been that way and in what ways does he support you?

He has always been supportive–first by teaching me to use the computer to simplify my work load, taking me wherever I need to go to do research, bookkeeping, proofreading, helping me set up at craft fairs and just generally being helpful wherever he can.

Is there anything else you’d like to tell my readers about yourself or your work?

I love developing characters to the point where they take off on their own in a completely new direction than what I might have expected. From then on, each day when I sit at the computer, I have no idea what is going to happen and am fully entertained as I hope the reader will be.

I belong to two wonderful critique groups. One has been there for me from the start of my publishing ventures six years ago and I’ve benefited from their help tremendously. Several of them are men and surprisingly, they have provided terrific insight, though they profess to not like romance stories. The two women in the group have sharp eyes for keeping me on track. The other group is made up of women fiction writers who each in their talented way get into the nuts and bolts of the romance aspect itself. I would never submit a manuscript without going through a critique group to catch problems obvious to objective minds.

Thanks, Carol for joining us!

It’s been a pleasure, Nancy.

Mauri Ripley believes she and her son will be safe on Maine’s isolated coast. With the danger left behind, she can rekindle Sam’s spirit and work on her historical romance novel. The bull-headed next door neighbor confirms her retreat is not as safety zone she had hoped

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The Harley-Davison revs up as it passes in the night. Jen Murray’s cabin walls shudder. She needs a clear mind to deal with the tragedy that forced her into hiding. Her need for peace calls for confrontation.

Mitch Waverley’s undercover mission heads for success when the gang he’s been infiltrating for months calls upon him to eliminate a social worker. He is flabbergasted to learn his target is the red-headed witch living next door.

Fifty-something socialite Amanda Bennington finds herself at an unbelievable fork in the road. Freshly divorced and bitter as hell, she can now add homeless to her life’s description.

You can find out more about these books and others by Carol at her site.