I found this story and video on Modestly Yours. It’s nice to see young people talking about abstinence is actually practical in their lives and that there are benefits far beyond not getting pregnant nor getting an STD.
As an NFP teacher, I know that abstinence isn’t only a problem for teens. Many couples have problems with NFP because it requires some time of abstinence, and it seems that the majority of those who express this objection didn’t abstain before marriage either. So, why should they abstain after marriage, especially with contraception is so readily available??
Our culture is so rife with sexual images and messages, of course the idea of abstaining is ridiculed. That is one of the things on the video that I loved. The only male on the panel told Meredith Veira that he chose abstinence because he wanted a lifestyle that would give his peers reasons to make fun of him!
Of course, he was kidding, but what struck me about this story was that all the proponents of abstinence were well-spoken and clean cut and looked so wholesome. I remember years ago watching a Phil Donahue show where he had “fundamentalists” – both Christian and Muslim, I think – on his show. This was long before 9/11 so he wasn’t trying to make the Muslims look worse than Christians.
In fact, I think he was trying to make the Christian family look like dangerous fanatics. I only watched long enough to find out that both families were “ruled” by the father and the Christian daughter wasn’t allowed to answer any questions. Her father answered for her. I honestly didn’t see the Muslim family answer anything that I remember because it was so blatantly obvious that the message was that religious people of any culture are somehow fanatics.
One thing Phil talked about was that the Christian girl said she wouldn’t kiss a boy until they were married, I think. Maybe it was engaged, but it was certainly not on the first date or any time after that. It might even be that she wasn’t allowed to even hold hands.
Okay, this is taking things pretty far, but of course Donahue had found the most fanatical people he could to make anyone who suggested that kids not be allowed to get “physical” before marriage look crazy. This was when I turned it off.
My daughter is 18 and yes, I can’t control what she does, but I do know that she’s asked her father and me for a purity ring, and has talked to me about friends of hers who aren’t virgins anymore and some of their struggles. So, I think I’m safe in assuming that she’s remained abstinent, and she had a boyfriend she hid from us for awhile. Yes, there were a few issues when we found out!!
I think the idea of teens not be “able” to remain abstinent is insulting to our children. My daughter’s doctor asked if she wanted to have that HPV shot. I was in the room and said, “You can’t get that virus unless you have sex, right?” The doctor said yes that was right, but apparently the earlier you get the shot the more effective this is. So what this means is if you want to make sure that your teenage daughter won’t get HPV WHEN she has sex, get her inoculated at nine years old! I know that’s the message of all those “One Less” ads, but it drives me crazy that parents would rather just assume their child is going to be sexually active and give them a shot instead of just saying, “Hey, save it until marriage and you won’t have to worry!”
I guess Donahue would love me because I’m apparently a fanatical Christian!