I’ve spent some time this morning putting up some excerpts from some of my works in progress. I’d love to know what you think. Please take a minute and look around the site. You might be surprised what you find here!
This past weekend was another hard one, toward the end. DH and the Boy went on a campout so the Girl and I were home alone. We had a pretty good time just hanging out. I ate too much junk and will see the result this afternoon at Weight Watchers.
I became worrying about money again. It’s the end of the month and things, again, were stretched a little thin. With DH camping, it was extra hard for me because I couldn’t talk to him about it and hear him tell me it was going to be okay.
Sunday came and my boys came home. By the time DH came home I had decided to not talk to him about the money because I didn’t want him to get upset over my worry and he has enough on his mind and tends to mull over stuff longer than he needs to. However, the money issue did come out and he did tell me everything would be okay, but I wasn’t okay with that.
I worry about not contributing to the family financially, and even if I did knuckle down and get these books finished, it would be awhile until we saw any money (if we actually did). This line of thinking led to all kinds of unhealthy, spiritually, thoughts.
A couple of years ago, I heard a priest at a retreat talk about sin and what are the greatest sins we can commit. He said it wasn’t murder or adultery or even abortion.
Despair is the greatest sin because it means a complete rejection of God’s love for us. We begin to believe that we’re worthless to God and that He doesn’t care for us. When this priest spoke about this, I nearly left the room, it hurt so much and felt so close to home. I was deeply in tears.
Yesterday, I went to mass early as I usually do when the Girl and her father sing in the choir. Mass starts at 6 pm, but the choir is usually there at 4:45 pm to practice. DH wasn’t feeling good so he wasn’t going to sing, so he decided to come along later. He was coughing violently unpredictably so he didn’t want to be there any longer than he needed to be.
I had my journal with me, and my Catholic Women’s Bible. After getting the Boy settled with a pen and some paper, I started journaling about things. I wrote about how discouraged I was and how I felt like I didn’t have a purpose. I felt like I was in a hole that just keeps getting deeper and deeper. All of this came from my discouragement from our financial situation.
Then I picked up my Bible and read the mass readings. One of them was on Christ’s wilderness journey and there was a devotion written exactly for that reading. It was eerie how it practically had my name written on it.
The devotion was about how we sometimes have to go through a wilderness just like Jesus had to.
“At times, the Spirit will also leas us into the wilderness to endure a time of trial. It may be a wilderness of loneliness, illness, misunderstanding, poverty, failure, or doubt.”
“If you find yourself in the wilderness, perhaps you should be encouraged. God may be preparing you for a time of greater fruitfulness and joy.”
“Your enemy wants to convince you that God has abandoned you and that you are good for nothing.”
“There will be an end to your wilderness.”
Of course there was more in the devotion, but it was like someone knew what I wrote in my journal and was responding.
Wait! Someone did know and He was responding.
You ever have a 2×4 moment? That’s what I call it when God has been trying to get your attention for so long and eventually He just has to take a 2×4 to your head!!
If that devotion didn’t wake me up, the priest’s homily did. Our associate pastor is Indian and sometimes his accent is hard to understand. Also, he has the habit of telling jokes at the beginning of his homily, always jokes that seriously don’t make sense. I don’t know if they don’t translate into English or if I can’t understand his train of thought or accent or what it is, but even my husband and daughter have said, “Yeah, I didn’t get it either.”
Anyway, yesterday, his story wasn’t a joke, and I GOT IT! He talked about how we have to empty ourselves of ourselves in order to let the Holy Spirit in. He said that Jesus went through the wilderness experience because he emptied himself so that he could do what the Father intended. Even through all that, he said NO to Satan.
We can’t get what God wants us to get when we’re full of everything else. Like the world.
I heard a guy on the Christian radio station talk about what it means to be “in the world, but not of the world.” (Do you think God’s been hitting me on the head for a while?????) He said that boats are made for water. A boat sits in the water and that’s what it’s supposed to do. However, if water get INTO the boat, that’s not a good thing and can cause immense damage. Sometimes that damage can’t be undone.
We need to be IN the world, but we can’t let the world get INTO us!
Well, Father Joseph said that when we are worried about stuff in the world, or when we can’t let the Holy Spirit in, that’s MATERIALISM!!
My stomach clenched (2×4 to the head time). I was worried about money and worried about how would we ever get out of this hole. That’s Materialism!!!!!
After communion, I fell on my face (figuratively, of course, we sit in the front row right by the Eucharistic ministers. Falling on my face would seriously disrupt the flow of communicants!) before the Lord and repented of my materialism. I don’t know how NOT to worry about money, short of having DH deal with everything and not tel me anything, but that’s not really practical. So, that’s what I prayed about. How do I not let the money worries get to me?
I’m beginning a course of keeping my Bible and rosary close at hand at all times and remembering that Jesus is my lifeline and there will be an end to his wilderness time, and it will be a time of fruitfulness and JOY!
I’ve listed a bunch of my old cross stitch magazines and books on ebay. I may be doing more things later as I try to declutter and clean up my sewing/craft area.
My ebay name is romarite if you’d like to take a look. If you want something, let me know you read my blog and I will take 10% off your purchase.
We had plans to go to a Mardi Gras parade on Friday night but the Boy’s nose was running and he was acting a bit sluggish, so we said, “Nah, we’ll go to the last one in the city tomorrow.” Well, on Saturday he woke up with a fever so since the Girl had “Science Saturday” at LSU (it’s a lecture series for high school kids. She gets extra credit for going – she deserved it for this one – BORING!) so I said I’d go with her to that and then we’d head off to the parade.
After listening to a guy talk about producing ethanol from sugar cane and all the political and economic costs, we headed into the main part of the city for the parade. It was a mad house, so after driving around and around and NOT finding a parking space, I said, “Let’s just go home.”
On Sunday, the Boy was still sick, so I went to 9:30 Mass and The Girl and DH went to 6 pm, where they sing.
Monday was my birthday and everyone had it and yesterday off because of Mardi Gras, so I was looking forward to a great day.
DH woke up with a 101.3 fever.
So, no breakfast in bed for me, no bowling and no dinner out. I did go to my Weight Watchers’ meeting and was down 1.6 pounds, so that’s something. The Girl and I went to the mall because I had a Sears gift card I hadn’t used from Christmas. I found two dresses on the “up to 75% off rack.” One was marked $70 and one was marked $80, but they were both on sale for $9.99 each, so I got them!
Yesterday, I went out and go some groceries and DH felt good enough later that we did go out for dinner.
Today, however, Ash Wednesday, he’s feeling absolutely miserable and has a Dr. appointment tomorrow, and the Girl stayed home from school with an upset stomach.
We did see the child psychatrist for the Boy and after talking to her, I feel better about my son. He still talks to pictures and goes nuts when he has sugar, but at least he isn’t depressed and he doesn’t freak out if I move any of his toys. She’ll see him next week.
My Lenten disciplines are: Write either 6 new pages or edit an old chapter (on different books) or both every day, and be absolutely scrupulous in keeping track of my WW points.
What are you going to do these 40 days of Lent?
Check out the Adventure on the High Seas page to the left to learn more about the cruise I’ll be speaking on this summer!
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2. A multi-book contract from either Harlequin or Smooch! 3. Airfare, hotel and registration for the RWA conference in Dallas in July 4. A new, top of the line sewing machine. 5. A day with a fashion consultant. 6. The entire wardrobe she recommends. 7. One of those room make over shows to redecorate my bedroom. 8. Then they could do the craft/family room, too. 9. A new van so I wouldn’t have to worry about the sounds this one makes. 10. A well cultivated rose garden in my backyard, where I can see it from my desk chair. 11. A working shower in my bathroom (cabinets that are actually functional would be nice, too.). 12. A long, relaxing visit with my best friend (not the one I’m married to), who I haven’t seen in a few years. 13. Surprises! Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!) |
When DH and I got married, we had the standard fluted toasting glasses that said “Bride” and “Groom.” I saved them for years, and they sat on a bookcase in our trailer near the kitchen.
One day I noticed they had gotten grimy and greasy from cooking vapors, so I stuck them in the dishwasher. When they came out, the Bride one said, “rice.” Clearly, they weren’t engraved but only painted. I was a little upset, but there wasn’t anything to do.
The next Valentine’s day, we had a couple over for dinner and right before dessert, my DH unveiled his gift to me. He’d gone out and bought beautiful fluted glasses ENGRAVED with the words “Bride” and “Groom.” I felt so loved!
Years later, something fell and the groom one shattered. I was devastated, but he said it was really okay.
This April, we’ll celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary, and he is still my forever love and my best friend!
I love you, Honey! I know you read this!
STAMPING UPDATE:
Last night I finished up the Valentine’s for the Boy to take to school. I’m very pleased at the way it turned out, and the teacher who let him out of the car said it was very cute.
Let’s see, Sat. the Girl and I went to the mall to look for a new printer. Mine has decided to print lines of text over one another. It doesn’t feed the paper smoothly. I have a $50 Sears gift card from Christmas and DH said I should be able to get a basic, decent printer for that price. Well, Sears only had 3 (not three brands – three printers) and they were all either over $150 or photo printers or both.
We walked around the mall a bit with my 17 year old telling me how she NEEDS new clothes. Her mother can’t remember when she bought something new for herself, but we buy t-shirts at Hot Topic about once a month when she likes a new band. Also, since she’s saving for a trip to PA, she can’t spend her own money on the clothes. Saving means spending Mom and Dad’s money instead.
We looked at the bookstore, which always leaves me feeling unsettled because books are being written without me.
We were going to go to a Mardi Gras parade that evening, but when DH and I told the Girl we were going to confession, she was in too much pain from menstrual cramps she couldn’t watch the Boy. DH told her that if she was well enough to go to the mall and well enough to go to a parade, she should be well enough to watch Noah for 1/2 hour. But when she complained he canceled the parade.
We went to another Rite Aid, but they were closed, too. We decided to go to the ER and see if we could get the dose I needed for that night. Well, of course, it’s not a drug they keep in the ER so they had to see if the hosptial pharmacy had it, but then that was closed. What ended up happening, and by this time I wanted them to check DH’s BP!!!, was that they took me into an exam room! I was getting a little ticked and said that I wanted to just go home and wait until tomorrow. I wouldn’t die! The doctor finally came in, listened to my heart and our story and took probably 20 minutes to write out the RX for THREE STUPID PILLS! I think he was worried I was some kind of junkie looking to score. Like junkies ask for three 250 mg tablets of CellCept for crying out loud. We found a 24 hour pharmacy that we will be using from now on.
I worked on Gingerbread Hearts a bit at bowling practice yesterday, and I’m taking two online classes, one on revising and one on breaking into Harlequin/SilhouetteA couple of the comments I got on the chef tote show some misunderstanding as to how big these little totes are. It’s hard to show in the picture, but they are made out a 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of card stock so they’re only about 4 1/2 inches high, not counting handles. So, while they are cool and fun to make, they really aren’t designed to take to the mall to bring home your goodies! Unless, of course, you’re only buying earrings or maybe socks!
Here’s one I made for my son. I’m going to make little Valentine’s Day gifts for each of this classmates and I think this will cute for him to carry them in. The tag has two stamps – one is a swirly lollipop with “Sweet Stuff” under it. The other says “Nothing’s better than a good friend with chocolate.” Both are Stampin’ Up! stamps. I’ll scan and show you the gifts I make for the class.
Yes, I’ve been having fun stamping! Here’s a little shopping tote I made today:
