Actually, there were several all connected. It’s almost like God thinks I need to be shaken over and over again until I get the message!
Yesterday the priest at Mass was from Food for the Poor. He told stories that broke my heart. Little kids who only have dirt to eat, families where they have to take turns eating because there isn’t enough for everyone to eat everyday, heartwrenching stories. I sat in Mass and cried as I listened. I am such a softie.
Here I am listening to these stories as the Boy is telling me that he’s hungry and I just wanted to cry more. I told him I was NOT going to talk about what we were going to have for dinner and if Mass was almost over because I knew we had chicken and pork chops and milk and bread and food in abundance and little children around the world die every day because they don’t have anything to eat.
On the way home I told my husband I wanted to give all the money I’ve been saving to go to RWA’s National Conference in Nashville in 2010. I have a jar on my dresser and at the end of the week any money left over from the weekly food budget goes in there along with coins/change I get from various shopping trips. I have no idea exactly how much is in there but I know there is about $43 in bills and the jar is full of change besides.
I fully expected him to say no.
I kinda thought he would.
Then this morning my Bible reading was about the golden calf the children of Israel worshipped when Moses was gone for so long up on Mount Sinai, and the devotion was about God asking the writer to give up her shopping addiction for Lent. God asked me, quietly, if I was REALLY willing to give up the money I’d been saving for his children.
And deep down, I wasn’t.
It had been a gesture. A thing of the moment, but here God was asking me for real. Am I willing to give up what isn’t, truly, that important to help someone or several someones who can really use it?
Boy, you know what? It was hard. I really want to go to Nashville for RWA Nationals in 2010. I haven’t been since 2006 and maybe by then I’ll have sold another book. I hope so.
Before anyone got up, I folded a load of clothes and watched about 10 minutes of something I had on tape, and when I turned off the DVR, the TV was on a commercial about a charity that feeds the hungry in Africa.
I mean, come on. How many times to I have to be convicted of this???
My husband, this morning, told me to take the change to the Coin-Star and get it converted into bills so we know how much is in there. We’ll send it to Food for the Poor and I can start saving again for Nashville. We’re also considering cancelling our cable and going with Netflicks for our television viewing and sending money every month to Food for the Poor.
Okay, God, is this what you wanted me to do?