Archive for October, 2008

Pray for this country!

Friday, October 31st, 2008

I don’t get political here, but I’m frightened for this country right now. I got this in an email from a good friend and thought this blog, even with it’s small readership might be the best way to reach those I know who pray.

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PLEASE LET’S GET A PRAYER CHAIN GOING FOR OUR COUNTRY

 

Friends,

 

I never have done this before, but I’m truly frightened for our country and our future.  We are on the brink of a momentous election, one that could change our country as we know it.  

 

Our freedom, our safety, and our privilege to decide how to spend the money we earn is on the block.  We have extensive voter registration fraud going on and not enough time to correct it–even if those in charge would correct it, which they don’t want to do.  We have a candidate leading the polls who has strong communist/terrorist connections from his college years.  Whose “community organization” from his young years was under the guidance of radicals who bombed, killed, and planned to overtake the American government.  And he’s still associating with them.

 

 I don’t know what we can do at this point to save our country–other than PRAY!

 

So I’m appealing to you to PRAY from this point until the election is over for God to put his hand on our country and those of us who still love it, to intervene at this point and let us keep control of it and put it straight again.  To let us wake next Wednesday morning with our country safe in the hands of a President who loves it and wants to protect it.   Not one associated closely with terrorists and hate spouting preachers who no doubt with end up as his close advisors once he has power.

 

Below are letters from both sides that show interesting views of the candidates and the frightening situation we are in.  Even if you don’t have time to read them, please say a prayer for our country from now until the election and let’s invite God to help us take our country back!

 

I ask you to send this to all of your Christian friends who are concerned about the crisis our country is in and let us ask God to save our country.

 

As for voting, it seems simple to me:  I’M VOTING FOR MCCAIN THE MAN WHO LOVES AMERICA AND FRIGHTENS THE MUSLIM WORLD–NOT for OBAMA THE MAN THE MUSLIM WORLD and TERRORISTS LOVE and SUPPORT!

 

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*Subject:* Letter from Illinois

*An impassioned letter from a ‘no-body’.  Please send this to every ‘thinking’ person who you consider is your friend and will read it and pass it on.  *

**
Dear Friends,
My name is Joe Porter.  I live in Champaign, Illinois.  I’m 46 years
old, a born-again Christian, a husband, a father, a small business owner, a
veteran and a homeowner.  I don’t consider myself to be either conservative
or liberal, and I vote for the person, not Republican or Democrat.  I don’t
believe there are “two Americas: – but that every person in this country can
be whomever and whatever they want to be if they’ll just work to get there
and no where else on earth can they find such opportunities.  I believe that
our government should help those who are legitimately downtrodden and should
always put the interests of America first.
The purpose of this message is that I’m concerned about the future of
this great nation.  I’m worried that the silent majority of hones,
hard-working, tax-paying people in this country have been passive for too
long.  Most folks I know choose not to involve themselves in politics.  They
go about their daily lives, paying their bills and doing what they can to
maintain their good life.
They vote and consider doing so to be a sacred trust.  They shake their
heads at the political pundits and so-called “news”, thinking that what the
year is always spun by whomever is reporting it.  They can’t understand how
elected officials can regularly violate the public trust with pork barrel
spending.  They don’t want government handouts.  They want the government to
protect them, not raise their taxes for more government programs.
We are in the unique position in this country of electing our leaders.
It is a privilege to do so.  I’ve never found a candidate in any election
with whom I agreed on everything.  I’ll wager that most of us don’t even
agree with our families or spouses 100% of the time.  So, when I step into
that voting booth, I always try to look at the big picture and cast my vote
for the man or woman who is best qualified for the job.  I’ve hired a lot of
people in my lifetime and essentially that’s what an election is – a hiring
process.  Who has the credentials?  Who do I want working for me?  Who can I
trust to do the job right?
I am concerned that a growing number of voters in this country simply
don’t get it.  they are caught up in a fervor they can’t explain and calling
it ‘change’.
“Change what?” I ask.
“Well, we’re going to change America,” they say.
“In what way?” I query.
“We want someone new and fresh in the White House”, they exclaim.
“So, someone who’s not a politician?” I press.
“Un, well, no, we just want a lot of stuff changed, so we’re voting for
Obama, they say.
So the current system, the system of freedom and democracy that has
enabled a man to grow up in this great country, get a fine education, raise
incredible amounts of money and dominate the news and win his party’s
nomination for the White House – that system is all wrong?
No, no that part of the system’s okay – we just need a lot of change.
And so it goes.  “Change we can believe in.”  Quite frankly, I don’t
believe that vague proclamations of change hold any promise for me.  In
recent months, I’ve been asking virtually everyone I encounter how they’re
voting.  I live in Illinois, so most folks tell me they are voting for
Barack Obama.  No one can really tell me who – only he’s going to change a
lot of stuff.  Change, change, change!  I have yet to find one single person
who can tell me distinctly and convincingly why this man is qualified to be
President and Commander-In-Chief of the most powerful nation on earth -
other than the fact that he claims that he is going to implement a lot of
change.
We’ve all seen the emails about Obama’s genealogy, his upbringing, his
Muslim background and his church affiliations.  Let’s ignore this for a
moment.  Put it all aside, then ask yourself, what qualifies this man to be
my president? That he is a brilliant orator and talks about change doesn’t
do it.
CHANGE WHAT?  Friends, I’ll be forthright with you – I believe the
American voters who are supporting Barack Obama don’t have a clue what
they’re doing, as evidenced by the fact that not one of them – NOT ONE of
them I’ve spoken to can spell out his qualifications.
Not even the most liberal media can explain why he should be elected.
Political experience?  Negligible!
Foreign relations?  Non-existent.
Achievements?  Name one.
Someone who wants to unite the country? If you haven’t read his wife’s
thesis from Princeton, look at it on the web.
This is who is lining up to be our next First Lady?  The only thing that
I can gleam from Obama’s constant harping about change is that we are in for
a lot of new taxes.
For me, the choice is clear.  I’ve looked carefully a the two leading
applicants for the job and I’ve made my choice.
Here’s a question:  “Where were you five and one half years ago around
Christmas, *2002.*  You had five or six birthdays in that time.  My  son has
grown from a sixth grade child to a high school graduate. Five and one half
years is a good chunk of time. About *2,000* days, *2,000* nights of sleep;
*6,000* meals, give or take.
John McCain spent that amount of time, from* 1967* through *1973* in a
North Vietnamese prisoner-of-war camp.
When offered an early release, he refused it.  He considered this offer
to be a public relations stunt by his captors and instead that those held
longer than he should be released first.  Did you get that part?  He was
offered freedom and turned it down.  A regimen of beatings and torture
began.
Do you possess such strength of character?  Locked in a filthy cell in a
foreign country, would you turn down your own freedom in favor of your
fellowman?  I submit that’s a quality of character that is rarely found.
For me, this single act defines John McCain.
Unlike several presidential candidates in recent years whose military
service is questionable or non-existent, you will not find anyone to
denigrate the integrity and moral courage of this man.  A graduate of the
United States Naval Academy, Annapolis, MD, during his Naval service he
received the Silver Star, Bronze Star, Purple Heart and Distinguished Flying
Cross.  His own son is now serving in the Marine Corps in Iraq.
Barack Obama is fond of saying, “We honor John McCain’s service,
BUT…”, which to me is condescending and offensive because what I hear is,
“Let’s forget this man’s sacrifice for his country and his proven leadership
abilities and talk some more about change.”
I do not agree with John McCain on everything – but I am utterly
convinced that he is qualified to be our next President.  I trust him to do
what is right.  I know in my heart that he has the best interest of our
country in mind.  He doesn’t simply want to be President – he wants to lead
America… and there is a HUGE DIFFERENCE!
Factually, there is simply no comparison between the two candidates.  A
man of questionable background and motives who prattles on about to change
can’t hold a candle to a man who has devoted his life in public service to
this nation, retiring for the Navy in *1981 *and elected to the Senate in *
1982.*
Perhaps Obama’s supporters are taking a stance between old and new.
Maybe they don’t care about McCain’s service or his strength of character,
or his unblemished qualifications to be President.  Maybe ‘likeability” is a
higher priority for them than ‘trust’.  Being a prisoner of war is not what
qualifies John McCain to be President of the United States of America,
rather his DEMONSTRATED LEADERSHIP DOES QUALIFY him.
Dear friends, it is time for us thinking Americans to stand and to say,
“Enough!”  It is time for people of all parties to stop following he party
line.  It is time for anyone who wants to keep America first, who wants the
right man leading their nation, to start a dialogue with all of their
friends and neighbors and ask who they are voting for… and why.
There is a lot of evil in this world.  That should be readily apparent
to all of us by now.  And when faced with that evil as we are now, I want a
man who knows the cost of war on his troops and on his citizens.  I want a
man who puts my family’s interest before any foreign country.
I want a President who’s qualified to lead our Nation.
I want my country back and I’m voting for John McCain!

 
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One Letter from Louisiana

(Rebuttal to Letter from Illinois)

even my republican mother who voted for bush both times and for jeb bush for gov of florida twice is not willing to bet her vote on mccain.  she’s telling my daughter not to vote for that ‘old man’ and she’s 82 herself so i don’t thinks its his age that bothers her so much.  she’s an obama supporter this time around.

but i am concerned about the mccain’s age and not sure he would make it through a term in his physical condition.  and if you want to harp on obama’s lack of experience, what about sarah palin who would be a heartbeat away from the presidency?  pta president, hockey mom, mayor of a town of only 5000 people which she left millions of dollars in debt and half way into her first term as governor of the largest state in the union with the smallest population and under investigation for abuse of her power as governor.  but doggone it she’s one of us.  no, she doesn’t represent me in any form.

and mccain was involved throughout his career with risky financial dealings including the savings and loan scandal that the taxpayers got stuck with the bill for so many years ago, in many ways reminiscent of the current financial meltdowns.  mccain may be talking wall street greed and corruption and regulating the industry, but he’s been in the lead in de-regulating for years now. and i don’t see how being a prisoner of war qualifies one to run for the presidency.

and then there’s the personal mccain, not the politician.  he has a volatile temper.  his morals are questionable.  he came back from his time in viet nam with permanent scars, but divorced his former model wife who had been in a car wreck and was now four inches shorter and walked with a limp.  then he married a beer heiress. he graduated almost at the bottom of his class at annapolis and would have been washed out on disciplinary charges if his father and grandfather hadn’t been admirals.

no thank you.  i’m voting for the candidate with one house and one spouse who was raised with middle of america values from his kansas mom and grandparents. he worked hard and went to a prestigious ivy league school on his own merits and not because his daddy and granddaddy went there first. he excelled as a student, then went to work for the poor rather than making big bucks in a rich law firm.

i want a president who speaks well, who’s smarter than me, and knows what the values and problems of the middle class and working folks are.  i want someone who will make me feel proud when he meets with other leaders in the world, not someone who will embarrass us as the current president has done so many times.  i want us out of this war in iraq which was waged mostly for oil profits and to line the pockets of halliburton and other war contractors. i want the billions that are being spent every week in that country to come home and be used to rebuild our infastructure and put americans to work.  i want healthcare for all and an end to corporate welfare. i want change.

oh, i’m a white southern woman, age 59, who has been registered as a republican, an independent and a democrat at various periods of my life. i’m a college graduate, a library tech, the wife of a retired union blue collar union worker, the mother of two daughters, grandmother of one and a half. and i plan to vote for barack obama.

KH
Louisiana

 

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An Answer to “One Letter from Louisiana”

 

K,

 

You continue to amaze me.  All you want is a man who speaks better than you?   And is impressive to foreign dignitaries (like the president of Iran maybe or Bin Laden?)   All you want is somebody who was one of the three top beneficiaries of FreddieMac and FannieMae?   

 

That’s not all I want for a president.  And as for Sarah Palin, she’s more qualified than Obama.  At least she’s run something–like a city and a STATE and has an 80% approval rating in Alaska.  He’s been campaigning for president his whole adult life and especially in his short career as a Senator.   Even his own campaign team can’t come up with anything substantial he’s done.

 

I’ve been way too silent on politics for too long.  None of us who love this country can afford to be quiet any longer.  We’re 5 days from putting Obama in the White House–a man who can destroy the country in ways we can never repair.  Obama is a frightening man, more so because of his charisma that can persuade many people into believing that the nothing he spouts is important. 

 

How am I going to vote?   

 

I’m voting for McCain, a man who values America and what she stands for and stands behind her and has proven that he is willing to sacrifice his life for her and his fellow soldiers.   America is what I care about right now.   And she’s falling fast.  Obama has the last nail for her coffin in his hand and he’s got the hammer raised.   God help us all!  

 

I will not vote for a communist leaning, terrorist associate (American terrorist or Muslim terrorist).  I will not vote for a man who openly refuses salute the American Flag or say the pledge of allegiance, who thinks he knows better how to spend my hard-earned money than I do.  I’d like to ask him why his own aunt has lived in the projects in Boston for years.  Has he shared his “peanut butter sandwich” with her?   No, nor apparently has he shared his and Michelle’s money with her.  Where’s the redistribution of wealth to those who need it? 

 

NOR do I want a woman as first lady who has never been proud of America before and who thinks America is “mean.”  Who claims to have had an impoverished childhood, yet grew up in a middle-class neighborhood in a nice house.  Who openly despises the very system that gave her a good life and a free education (that she obviously wasted–read her thesis—it’s all over the net.).  And if you think I’m being racist here, I’m not.  I’d vote for Condi Rice or any number of black Americans who are qualified.  But I will not vote for this man.

 

As for one wife, one home:   So what!   He got the home though a very shady real estate deal.   And as for Michele, I have heard her say she’s ‘never’ been proud of America.  I do not want her as my first lady.  I do not want inexperienced Obama as my president when he would openly sit down with Iran’s president who just as openly says he wants to wipe out a whole race of people (Israel) and spouts the most evil I’ve ever heard from a man.  

 

As for getting into Harvard on his own merits.  Dream on.   He was financed and his way eased in by Rashid Khalidi a man openly associated with the PLO terrorists.  This was disclosed on the news on last week.  And has anybody seen his transcript at any college?   No, because he won’t allow it to be released.   If a man is not afraid of what’s in his files, he has no problem with them being scrutinized.  Do we know when he stopped using hard drugs?  NO!   Can we see his actual birth certificate to see if he’s a legitimate American Citizen.  NO!  He’s not the intelligent man he’s made out to be.  But he is a very Charismatic man who has a lot of people beguiled. 

 

I am so frightened for my country right now.  I am so shocked at so many people in America for even entertaining the idea of Obama setting one foot in the White House or his wife sleeping one day in an institution she so very obviously despises and reviles.  (There’s no way for her to deny this.  She can make all the political statements she wants, but the film is out there in the beginning before she learned proper political etiquette when she said all these things).

 

I do not want this country to be handed over to the likes of those with whom Obama is dear friends–he can deny it, but his actions say something very different.   Who blackballed TV stations because they ask valid questions that he wants to avoid.  Who kicked all reporters who endorsed McCain off his plane for the last few days of the campaign (keeping only a reporter from a far-left mag and two who represent black magazines Essence and Jet –WHY?  Maybe for fear the others won’t put the right spin on him???   Oh and did you notice he took the American FLAG off his huge airplane and replaced it with a big “O”.  What’s that all about?

 

I will not support a man who makes fun of  a middle-class citizen like Joe the Plumber because Obama let slip his true intent to redistribute wealth and Joe wasn’t happy with the answer.  We now know, because of Obama’s camp’s frightening scrutiny into JOE’s past, far more than we know about the possible next President of the USA.  Do you realize that because of his past actions Obama couldn’t qualify to be one of his own bodyguards if he becomes president?  So he’ll have more honorable people guarding him than he is himself.  We want this man to be President?   NO!

 

As for corporate welfare.  Let’s get rid of ALL welfare.   Let’s get back to earning what we have in this great country that allows us to do to.   Let make sure than ANYBODY who gets a check, works for it in some legitimate, constructive manner.  Even stay at home moms with kids can work from home.  Let’s stop the aid to countries who don’t like us, who fight against us and won’t back us when we need them.  Let’s let them do their own defense when their attackers come calling.  Let’s get our county away from dependence on other enemy countries for our energy.  We have the means–let’s do it!

 

BUT IT’S BEYOND ALL THAT.   It’s not economics–that will level off in time.   It’s not even really what questionable deals either of the candidates did in the past.  I’m sure anybody in politics has done one thing or another.  Right now Obama is having to give back millions of dollars that were illegally donated from the Palestinians.  They all can be connected with something.

 

It’s the basic integrity, viability, and freedom of our country that is at stake.  Look at this man.  Where he lives, who he associates with, what he tried to HIDE!  Where is he taking us?  How long will it take for our enemies to take over this country if our President holds the door open for them to come in! 

 

I’m voting for the man I know loves this country and will give his life for it.  Not the man who thinks there are 57 (Islam) states he’s campaigned in, won’t salute the flag or say the pledge, only went to Iraq because the political pressure got too hot, then made a photo op/rock concert of it.   And who is married to a bitter woman who apparently hates our country. 

 

I’d rather the Obamas went to whatever country they DO love and leave us alone!

 

And, if you really want to know who to vote for I wish you all could chat with the clerk at Dillard’s that I talked to at length last month, who fled a communist country and never wants to live in another one.    See how very AFRAID she is of OBAMA and his POLITICS!!!!!!!!   And she’s lived the terror of communism before.

 

And another point to consider—Vote for McCain the man who love AMERICA and frightens the Muslim world–NOT for OBAMA THE MAN THE MUSLIM WORLD LOVES and SUPPORTS!

 

From:  a woman in Louisiana who loves the country God gave her–and wants to keep it!  And has a son who did get into college on his own merits.  Who herself was raised by a grandmother and grandfather on social security only.  Who did get into college and graduated on HER own merits and paid her way.  Who has a husband who did get into college on HIS own merits and paid his way.  Who both paid back every loan they had to take out to get that education.  Who’s worked hard for a good life and want to KEEP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

 

AND I’M PLANNING TO VOTE FOR JOHN McCAIN



Halloween Post 2008

Friday, October 31st, 2008

Good morning, cyber world. I know I haven’t spent as much time with this blog as I should, and I will start again and try to not neglect you again. Can’t promise anything. After I’m only human.

A lot has been going on in my part of the world. In fact, however, my part of the world has gotten pretty small lately. Basically, the size of my bedroom with small forays into the kitchen for sustenance.

Last Monday I received my radioactive iodine treatment. It was a simple, and at the same time, not so simple thing. After asking the radiology tech some questions about precautions, my family got “last” hugs and kisses and they were ushered out of the room. Then the tech put on a lead apron and rubber/latex gloves. Then she pulled out what looked like two small baked bean crocks. Two cups of water sat on the table next to me. She set the crocks next to me and opened one. They were clearly lined with lead, and she pulled out a small capped vial that contained one pill. She said it had to directly in my mouth so she “poured” it in and I drank one cup of water. We repeated this procedure and she quickly led me out of the waiting room.

I asked about the possibility of superpowers but she said no that wouldn’t happen. Bummer.

Anyway, as soon as I got home I came into this bedroom and except for people calling me and IMs and my family standing at one end of the hall while I peeked out the bedroom door to talk to them, I’ve been isolated to keep from radiating other people.

Today is my last day. Tomorrow I get to catch up on hugs from the Boy, who hasn’t been doing well in school this week. I have to wash all my bedding and clothings separately from the rest of the family and twice through the cycle. But that’s minor and it’s over.

On Monday I got back to the Radiology office for a full body scan to make sure the cancer didn’t spread anywhere. My doctor says by Thanksgiving I should be myself again.

Actually, I’ve been feeling pretty good this week except for stuffed sinuses that make it had to breathe at night.

I’ve started a new book and have written two chapters already this week. I finished three books I’ve been in the middle of reading for awhile.

The best part is all the friends who have called, emailed or IMed to see if I’m okay and ask how I’m feeling. It’s very heart-warming to know how many people care.

The Boy’s been seeing a language therapist and from what I hear, he’s doing great. He goes on Mondays after school, and we’re tryng to find a second day during the week that will work because she really needs to see him more often to have him make progress.

He’s going out trick or treating tonight, as a pirate. When the Girl was little I made all her costumes, but with all the thyroid stuff going on, we just didn’t get to it this year, but life is different that is was 13 years ago, too. I wasn’t a published author then and I wasn’t focused on trying to make this a career.

I’ll put an excerpt from the new book on the site. Check it out and give me some feedback. I’d love to know what my readers are interested in reading!

I hope you all have a great weekend! Check out the previous post and comment to win Jeff’s new book!

Featured Author – Jeff Rivera

Monday, October 27th, 2008

 

Once homeless and living in his car, award-winning novelist Jeff Rivera writes passionate stories of those often forgotten and neglected by society. He believes even in the eyes of a gang member, even beneath the soiled clothes of a bag lady or behind the tears of a lonely kid in the back of the class, there lies a common thread that links us all, the universal human story.  He has made it his personal mission to help change the way the world thinks in a positive way through his stories. Mr. Rivera currently lives in Miami, Florida. Adopted by his Filipino stepfather when he was seven years old, his ethnic background is Black American and Native American.

Mr. Rivera was nice enough to let me interview him on the release of his book, Forever My Lady. Mr. Rivera has also donated a copy of his book to one of my readers. Just comment by Friday and I’ll chose a winner. I’m sure this is one you’ll want, gang, so make sure to leave me your email address (spaced out for security purposes, of course) so I can contact the winner!

 

Tell us the basic storyline of Forever My Lady?

It’s my first novel and I really wrote this from my heart. It tells the story of a teenager who feels like he has absolutely no body in the world until he mets a girl named Jennifer who is the one person who not only loves him just the way he is but promises never to leave his side.  Then, one thing leads to another, Dio ends up in prison boot camp and promises her he’ll marry  her when he gets out. He’s making all these changes in his life for her then he finds out from a friend that she has plans to marry someone else.
Why were you so passionate about telling that story in particular?
I felt it was a story that needed to be told, not one we see every day and it was one that I could relate to so I knew other people had to be able to relate to also.

 

Forever My Lady has been getting quite a bit of buzz even when it was self-published. Did you have any idea it would be so well-received?

No, I was scared that no body would like it actually but when I started getting great reviews from regular people then I knew it had struck a chord. Then the reviews from the pros came in and then that cemented things for me. I think as a writer you can feel a little insecure sometimes about whether people are “getting you” and it’s nice to know when people are.

 

What challenges did you face in getting the book published?

I think my greatest challenge was being shocked at the rejection. I mean, instead of getting depressed I was actually thinking to myself, “Are they crazy?” Haha. I must have received at least 20 rejections but the people at Grand Central really got it and I’m so grateful to be given the chance to finally show the world this story that I believe in so very much.

Is Forever My Lady available on Amazon.com?
Yes, Amazon.com, www.JeffRivera.com and bookstores everywhere.

Thank you so much for your time, Jeff! I’m sure we’ll be seeing your name much more in the future!

 

 

Book Review – Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer

Saturday, October 18th, 2008

I wasn’t a big fan of Twilight, but my daughter went on and on about it, so eventually she begged me to read it. No, I didn’t fall in love with Edward. Frankly, I thought he was a bit “stalkerish” and played mind games with Bella (It’s too dangerous for you to be around me, etc.). However, I read the other two in the trilogy and saw some redeeming qualities to Edward, although I’ll never be a swooning Twilight mom.

What I found more interesting, as an author myself, was that I could see a growth in Stephenie. Her writing got better and while I still think she’s overly in love with vampires and therefore makes them nearly flawless, at least the Cullens, when she does action, she is good.

This book blew me away with the fact that stuff that I thought she just threw into the first books were actually thought out and planned. It was easy for me to believe she wrote Twilight for fun, never expecting it would take off and then had to write more. No, apparently, she had it planned and it worked.

SPOILERS (Like anyone HASN’T read this yet!)

I do agree with one reviewer who said Bella’s love didn’t require any sacrifice. She got to keep Charlie, Jacob, Edward AND be a vampire (and therefore become beautiful, strong, perfect). She never had to deal with the struggles that newborn vampires usually had and this wasn’t sufficiently explain, at least from my point of view.

Life isn’t that perfect, but you know, what? This isn’t life. It’s fantasy, so I’m willing to overlook this, even if it bugs me a little.

The last few scenes kept me reading, even when my husband wanted me to turn the light off so he could sleep!

I wish Steph had done more with the Volturi wives. It was mentioned over and over that “even the wives are coming!” and this was a BIG DEAL, and nothing was done with that. This is a big flaw in the book, in my opinion.

Over all, I think this was the best of the four, and I do wish she’d play a little more in this universe. I’d love to see what she’d do with some of the other vampires (the Amazons fascinate me) and what will happen with Renesmee in the future!

How Catholic is “too” Catholic?

Sunday, October 12th, 2008

10/8/08

My husband and I are converts to Catholicism and if you’ve read this blog much, you probably already know that we take all the teachings very seriously. We’ve run into some issues with family members over the contraaception issue, our belief in the Real Presence, the honor we give to Mary and more minor things like our choice not to eat meat on Fridays as a sacrifice on the day Christ died.

We try, to the best of our human abilities, to live lives that reflect the Church’s teachings and we try to raise our children with full knowledge of those same teachings.

It’s never easy to live in this world but maintain a moral stance that is attacked on all sides by the media and even some friends and family. However, Christ never promised us it would be easy.

One way most true Catholics stay charged up about their faith, besides participating in the sacraments, is by seeking out and cultivating friendships with others of like minds. It is in these relationships we can truly be ourselves, to the core of our beings, without fear of ridicule. To use a popular term these days, these relationships are “safe places.”

So, it is a severe shock to when one of these safe, nurturing relationships suddenly turns toxic without warning. This is what happened to me recently.

As you know, I’ve been posting updates on this blog about my medical situation. I haven’t done this to complain, because honestly I know things could be so much worse! I’ve done it mainly as a record of what is happening for me to go back and see how it was, in the future when I want to remember. Also, this is an easy way of letting family and friends who aren’t nearby know how I’m doing.

I have a handful of people who don’t read my blog, but I want to keep them up to date, too, so I often send out a group email similar to what I post here.

For the most part, responses are positive. Prayers are offered, as well as requests if I need anything or just basic support and offers of a shoulder if I need it.

One day, a Catholic friend, one of those safe relationships I mentioned, responded to an email about my son and his learning differences.

She suggested that God is calling me to homeschool.

I responded with what I thought was love and gratitude, but said I didn’t b believe homeschooling is for us. This is what I said:

Thanks so much for your concern, and believe me it is something that we’ve talked about, but I know myself and I am in no way organized enough to homeschool. And, given that the Boy has no siblings close to his age and no kids around that he could associate with, I don’t believe we would be doing him a favor taking him out of school.

I so admire people who homeschool. My best friend in New Jersey homeschools her three daughters, but I truly don’t think I’m gifted in that area.

As for The Boy’s religious training, we don’t depend on the school for that. The Girl had to attend “public” school from first through third grade (first and second in Germany and third because the Catholic school had no room), and while she attended CCD in third grade, I believe her strong Catholicism comes from having Beloved  as a father, just as your kids have you and your husband.

The bottom line for me is that The Boy, like The Girl, thrives around other kids and I just can’t offer him that kind of interaction. We chose Catholic school not just for the Catholic instruction which I do believe should come from us, but because we’d rather have the kids in a school that won’t mock their faith.

I really do appreciate your concern and I love you for caring, but please understand that I believe I am not cut out for this. I thought I would do something like that over the summer and it just never happened. I would be terrified to take him out of the structured environment of the school and try to do it here. He needs that structure and I don’t think I can provide it.

This is the response I got:

Well, I have to say that I am disappointed, but not surprised by your response.

 

If I knew your excuses were sincere, I would take the time to dispell any confusion or misunderstandings you have, especially the same old tired one of “socialization”.  Even if I told you The Boy would have an abundance of true Catholic friends (the kind that you want your child to “socialize” with) that he could spend quality time with (not the 15 – 20 minutes of “socialization” he would get during the school day at a traditional school), we still have the real reason which is YOU don’t WANT to homeschool.

 

As for your other excuse,  homeschooling doesn’t have anything to do with “being gifted in that area”, or “not being organized”, or “just not cut out for this”.  What I am hearing is, “I don’t WANT to do it”, “I’m not willing to make the sacrifice” and “My needs are more important than Noah’s”.  That’s the real bottom line.  You really sell your self short on your abilities and do not put enough faith in the treasury of sacramental graces we receive from the Sacrament of Matrimony that would help you to live out your duties in the vocation of marriage, which include the education of your children.  If you would align yourself with God’s will, not your own, you would be surprised at how much grace He would pour out on you to fulfill your duty as a mother and wife and to carry out His will.  He will not let you fail.  By not stepping out in faith, you are basically telling Him that you don’t believe He would see you through.

 

And I am going to tell you this because I do care about you and love you too. You routinely express and share problems and/or concerns in different areas of your life. In regards to The Boy’s school situation, I have given you (through the guidance of the Holy Spirit) the only clear truly Catholic answer there is, and you are rejecting it.  I really don’t think you want answers to your problems because there wouldn’t be anything for you to dwell on or write about.  I think you spend too much time complaining and looking at all the negative things in your life and don’t focus on the positive blessings you have been given (and I’m sure you would agree you are blessed in many, many ways). I’m sorry to have to share that with you and I’m not saying this to you in anything but a loving way and as a friend, but it is how I feel. 

 

I hesitated responding to you the first time, but the Holy Spirit put it in my heart to contact you and try to give you the answer you are looking for, which is what I have done.  I won’t go any further with this but I have done my part and what you do from this point forward is on you.  You are a good person and have a beautiful family, Nancy.  I just want you to be happy and confident in your faith.

To say I was hurt only kinda scratches the surface of my emotions. I sent this to my husband who was just as stunned as I was. I often send him emails that I feel are hurtful (not that I get many!) just to make sure I’m not reading them wrong. However, he agreed that this one was surprising and hurtful.

I didn’t know what to do, but the next day, he thought he’d call her husband, and maybe the boys, with cooler heads, could work through this. Maybe it was a misunderstanding or something to do with emails coming across more impersonal than a face to face conversation.

However, they were on the phone for over an hour and her husband said he didn’t believe the email went far enough. My husband thought perhaps the did not realize that I have thyroid cancer and that “tough love” at this time might not be the right approach.

Her husband said my cancer was just another excuse for me to complain and if it wasn’t cancer it would be something else.

He expressed concern that I am not happy in my life, not fulfilled (still trying to work out what that means – in any context, not just this one), and that homeschooling is what Catholics are called to do.

This isn’t an issue of morals or faith, as far as I can see. If the Church taught that, wouldn’t all the Catholic schools around the world shut down?

Anyway, when Beloved got off the phone, we talked for a long time. I cried a lot.

To be fair, we really haven’t talked deeply about homeschooling. Well, I mean, we have now, but until this phone call, we hadn’t.

Once Beloved pointed that out, I was sure that this is what we would choose to do, and my own demons raised their ugly little heads.

My friend was right about one thing – I am selfish. I enjoy my time alone. When the Boy is in school and Beloved is at work, that’s “my time” and I knew that if we choose to homeschool I won’t have alone time again.

It took some tears and some strength to confess all this to my husband. Because he loves me, he said he understood and that we would make sure there was alone time for Mommy, if this is what we choose to do, and he emphasized, we, by no means, have decided on anything.

We also talked about my writing. He said he too was worried about my happiness because I often say my writing isn’t going where I want it to.

I finally had to face another demon – my internet addiction. Of course, I can’t do my job without the computer, but I spend (read: waste) too much time surfing the net, checking email and playing on Facebook. I had to decide something I feared to decide before. I had to decide to do without the internet.

So, Monday through Friday, I will be disconnected from the world, via the Web. We’ll see if this can help with my problems.

I’m still hurt by the abruptness and lack of compassion our friends have shown and I pray that the friendship can be repaired, or at least we can find some common ground to remain cordial about.

Due to my cancer and all, I’m not spending energy and time worrying about their opinion of me and the choices we’ve made.

I just pray that this is not the beginning of them setting themselves up to be “more Catholic than the Pope” and stepping away from the Church completely.

——

Some time has past since I wrote this and I’m not hurt anymore about this. I’m sorry they felt they had to use such a confrontational way of approaching me about something they think is a problem. I assume there are underlying things going on that I have no knowledge of and I pray for them every day.

I’m posting this only because since I’ve been off-line all week, I wrote this on Monday when all this was fresh and I was still hurting. I wanted to get it out and thought there might be someone out there (not that I have a LARGE readership) that might shed some light on what might be going on.

Thanks!