This quote came from Blogging with Christian Women Online. I have been meaning to join in with this Get Inspired “meme” thing, but I continue to get distracted. Today as I went through my blogroll, I read Blest with  Sons and she wrote about this quote. So I decided to try my hand at this.

I have always been the kind of person who is comfortable just talking to anyone. Not striking up a conversation, mind you, but once we start talking, I could talk all night and often talk more about myself or whatever than anyone ever wants to hear. My husband used to gently take my hand or put his hand on my shoulder as his subtle way of telling me that I was blabbing too much and maybe it was time for someone else to talk!

One mistake I have made in the past is that I mistake pleasant conversation for friendship. I learned, when my husband was in graduate school, that for real friendship to develop is for BOTH people to share. There was a woman I knew at the church we attended with whom I thought I had something in common. This church is in the middle of a major Midwestern University and most of the people we knew were college students. This woman, however, while she might have been in graduate school (see? I don’t even know), was married and as I was, too, I felt that gave us common ground.

So, I would seek her out at church gatherings and we would talk. That is, I would talk. Several times I know I confided problems or fears or concerns or whatever, thinking I was with a friend. It wasn’t until this had happened three or four times that I realizes that she never shared anything with me. She was sympathetic to whatever I spoke about and offered advice and a listening ear, but never did she tell me anything about herself or her situations.

One night I talked to my husband about this, and he told me that he believes that he and I are the kind of people who don’t have many close friends. We have acquaintances, and many times, friendly acquaintances, but only a few FRIENDS.

I find this is true even now. I have a close, dear friend who I have known since before I met my husband and we are like sisters and we know more everything about each other, even though we haven’t lived in the same state in about 20 years!

I have found one good friend here, another writer, but it’s not the same thing. I long for a close, dear friend like the one I mentioned above, someone closer I could go shopping with or to the movies or just have coffee. However, I’ve learned that I can survive without that. I have my own interests and my writing to keep me busy.

I started blogging because I was hoping to find some close friends in the blogging community. I’ve read dozens of blogs that reference other bloggers and how close they are even though they’ve never met. Never happened to me. I guess that even in this community, I’m destined to be a “friendly acquaintance.”

So, the conclusion is that while I think Lewis was right in his quote above, I think many more acquaintances are born of something in common and the friendships, while born in the same situation, are rare.

What do you think?

Well, yesterday was a good day at our house.

I went to Weight Watchers and was down 2.6 pounds from two weeks ago. That was pretty amazing as the inlaws had been here and we’d celebrated my daughter’s birthday with pizza and ice cream cake. I did workout a lot so that must have had something to do with it.

My husband, who is the co-author (with Honor) of THE LADY AND THE NECROMANCER, found out that Wizards of the Coast, where he really wants to send this book, is finally taking submissions again. So that’s a big deal as he’s been fretting and staring at their website since September 1 when they said the submissions would be open again.

Then I got an email from the lady I’m speaking with at the library in a couple of weeks, Lynn Emery, “apologizing” for telling the library person that $50-75 was fine as a fee, and if I wanted to negotiate something different I should do so. Now I didn’t even expect for a second that we’d be getting paid, so hey $50 is great as far as I’m concerned! I’m just happy I’ll get to sell and sign some books!

THEN to top it all off: I got an email from Amazon.com last night saying I’d sold a copy of my book and would need to ship it in the next two days! I’ve had those books listed for over two months and this is the first sale.

Maybe all that praying and learning to trust is working after all. I feel so much better, even before all this. I went to the Y and did an hour on the elipical, so that helped my mood tremendously!

I will conduct a book signing and a lecture on writing and publishing at the Iberville Parish Library in Plaquemine, LA, on Saturday, September 23, from 10:30 -11:30 A.M. Sponsored by The Friends of the Iberville Public Libraries, the program is free and open to the public.

Lynn Emery, a romance writer, will also be speaking and will discuss new trends in the romance genre and the advent of urban literature. I will discuss inspirational romances and e-publishing. A question and answer session with the audience will follow.

Emery’s latest book, entitled Endless Passion, is a collector’s edition of three of her early novels. In 2004, she won three Emma Awards which honors excellence in romance action. She was chosen Author of the Year and her novel Kiss Lonely Goodbye won Best Novel and Favorite Hero. The Emma Award is named for Emma Rodgers, co-owner of Black Images Book Bazaar in Dallas. Her next novel, Soulful Strut will be released in December 2006.

We will have copies of our books for sale. Checks and cash will be accepted. For more information about these Lynn, go to the following web site: www.lynnemery.com.

For months now, I think since last September or October, I’ve been doing a Holy Hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament every Saturday morning from midnight to one am. Early, early in the morning! It used to be that I was joined by a man, although the nature of a Holy Hour is that we never spoke except one night (morning?) when he waited for me to leave at 1 to tell me that he wouldn’t be there the next week. Since about Christmas or at least New Year’s he hasn’t been there so I’ve had Jesus all to myself, so to speak.

The first few weeks were wonderful, the first one, especially. I felt such a peace that I didn’t want to leave. It’s really a matter of faith to believe that the fairly large circle of flat, dry bread is Our Lord, but when you do believe it’s amazing. I have spent time just staring and trying to wrap my mind around the idea that the Creator of the Universe has allowed Himself to be “trapped” in the monstrance so I can be with Him and not die. He is there even when my 1 am replacement doesn’t show up, which he hasn’t in months (since May or so) and no one comes to be with Him until around 4 or 5 am. Our Lord Jesus lets Himself be set into the tabernacle until someone comes to sit with Him.

Lately — I want to say since I found out that my aunt is dying of cancer (I made her a cancer sampler you can see at my other blog – chick-stitches.blogspot.com) but I can’t be positive — I’ve felt nothing when I go into the Adoration Chapel. Oh, I KNOW Jesus is still there, I know all that stuff that I knew before, but there isn’t anything emotional there. I feel like going there is just time alone and often it’s a chore because of the time I go. I often would rather just go to bed.

Now I know that the emotions aren’t necessary. I’m not one of those people who have to have an emotional response to mass or prayer to know or believe I’m saved or heard or whatever. However, I am a woman, and by definition, an emotional creature.

For the past two months we’ve been having some financial struggles. Nothing majorly big or requiring legal intervention, but big enough to cause some discomfort and worry. Especially by me. I hold a “tape” of a conversation I had with my father when I was in college in my head and it plays whenever financial stuff comes up. My father told me I was irresponsible with money.

Now that was over 20 years ago and things have changed a lot, but I worry because I know that I love to get new stuff for my hobbies and my interests. When I look back over the past two months I haven’t been bad or extravagant so if I’m reasonable, I know this isn’t my fault. It’s just the way life is sometimes.

Anyway, I’ve been having a tough time turning our finances over to God, even though I know He has better plans than I do and He’ll take care of us. It’s a whole emotion thing, you understand? I worry. I worry about how we’ll make it when my husband says our debt is increasing several hundred dollars a WEEK! I worry that I’m not really contributing anything as I don’t even have any books out there looking for a buyer. I worry because even the books I have published don’t generate enough in royalties to pay for one meal at McDonalds! So, instead of letting go of these things, I fret about them, even when I’m on my knees in front of the Blessed Sacrament asking for His help. My mind starts trying to come up with a solution.

I know that’s me trying to do it myself and that never works, but all this worry and depression has led to a siuation where I don’t even feel like God is able to hear me. I know it’s me whose moved, but try as I might I can’t find Him again. I sit in Mass and struggle to let His word penetrate my heart, but my 4 year old son is dropping Cheerios and singing to the Stations on the wall and turning around to watch the other parishoners, and not much of the word is getting to me.

I talked and cried to my husband about this last night. I told him I feel like parched earth and it’s going to take a soaking rain to soften up my heart and soul, I fear. He told me that all great saints have gone through this and it always means that person was making great spiritual progress.

Okay, as nutty as that sounds (I mean, feeling like you can’t get to God no matter how you crawl and cry and fight means spiritual progress???), the only thing to do is keep on keeping on. I’ve started praying a rosary again before I go to bed and trying to read the Psalms every day. I know it’s not a lot, but I also know that if I give myself a bigger assignment of prayers or devotions, I’ll give up.

So for now, while not believing in any way I’m headed for great sainthood or possibly even sainthood at all, I’m waiting for and believing in the “better” to come.

Appetizer
Name 3 things that you are wearing today.

I’ll be putting on exercise shorts, an old cow t-shirt and my sneakers to head to the Y.

Soup
Who was the last person you hugged?

My son.

Salad
What do you like to order from your favorite fast food place?

Chicken fingers and fries.

Main Course
What time of day do you usually feel most energized?

Mornings and after everyone else is in bed.

Dessert
Using the letters in your first name, write a sentence. (Example: Sweet unusual spaniels are nice.)

Nasty animals negate clown years.

I’m on several writing loops and last week a woman on one of the loops (I don’t want to get too specific because this is a tentative opportunity – nothing is “set” yet) contacted me to say that she is in the process of possibly becoming a book packager for a religious publisher – one who has done mostly nonfiction, but wants to get into fiction. She asked if I have any story ideas that would be appropriate for this publisher that I’ve put away because I “knew” no one would buy them.

Well, in fact I do. I have one or two ideas for romances I’d like to write, but they are not really appropriate for the standard Christian markets. Not because of any immorality, you understand, but because the stories themselves lean too far, possibly to the point of actually falling squarely into, a Christian tradition most publishers do not want to touch. Mainly, Catholicism.

So, I put aside THE BEST MAN for the time being and am working up a synopsis for a story that has been on my heart for some time (years) but I never knew where to go with it. I am having to work a bit as the story was very formless in my head, but for a synopsis, there better be a form.

Anyway, I’ll post more on this when more happens!

Appetizer

What are some lyrics you have misheard (such as, instead of “Gettin’ Jiggy With It” you heard “Kick a chicken with it”)?

I can’t remember any I misheard. I’m sure I have some but none come to mind right now. My daughter and I, however, still laugh about a song where the lyrics are “My world crumbles without you,” and she thought it was “I blow cupboards without you.” I asked her what in the world she thought that meant, and she said, “I didn’t have any idea. That’s why I thought the song was strange!”

Soup

What is the worst movie you have ever seen?

Without a doubt, The Norseman with Lee Majors. I HATED Mars Attacks even though lots of people like it. Another one I HATED was Toxic Avenger and Alien Avengers was pretty terrible, too.

Salad

Using the letters from your favorite number, write a sentence. Example: Tomorrow has really easy experiences.

Several elegant violinists elevate nuns.

Main Course

What was the most interesting news story you have heard this week?

Wal-Mart joins partnership with National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

Dessert

Which word(s) would you choose to describe your wardrobe?

Mish-Mash