“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What! You too? I thought I was the only one!” ~ C.S. Lewis ~
This quote came from Blogging with Christian Women Online. I have been meaning to join in with this Get Inspired “meme” thing, but I continue to get distracted. Today as I went through my blogroll, I read Blest withÂ Sons and she wrote about this quote. So I decided to try my hand at this.
I have always been the kind of person who is comfortable just talking to anyone. Not striking up a conversation, mind you, but once we start talking, I could talk all night and often talk more about myself or whatever than anyone ever wants to hear. My husband used to gently take my hand or put his hand on my shoulder as his subtle way of telling me that I was blabbing too much and maybe it was time for someone else to talk!
One mistake I have made in the past is that I mistake pleasant conversation for friendship. I learned, when my husband was in graduate school, that for real friendship to develop is for BOTH people to share. There was a woman I knew at the church we attended with whom I thought I had something in common. This church is in the middle of a major Midwestern University and most of the people we knew were college students. This woman, however, while she might have been in graduate school (see? I don’t even know), was married and as I was, too, I felt that gave us common ground.
So, I would seek her out at church gatherings and we would talk. That is, I would talk. Several times I know I confided problems or fears or concerns or whatever, thinking I was with a friend. It wasn’t until this had happened three or four times that I realizes that she never shared anything with me. She was sympathetic to whatever I spoke about and offered advice and a listening ear, but never did she tell me anything about herself or her situations.
One night I talked to my husband about this, and he told me that he believes that he and I are the kind of people who don’t have many close friends. We have acquaintances, and many times, friendly acquaintances, but only a few FRIENDS.
I find this is true even now. I have a close, dear friend who I have known since before I met my husband and we are like sisters and we know more everything about each other, even though we haven’t lived in the same state in about 20 years!
I have found one good friend here, another writer, but it’s not the same thing. I long for a close, dear friend like the one I mentioned above, someone closer I could go shopping with or to the movies or just have coffee. However, I’ve learned that I can survive without that. I have my own interests and my writing to keep me busy.
I started blogging because I was hoping to find some close friends in the blogging community. I’ve read dozens of blogs that reference other bloggers and how close they are even though they’ve never met. Never happened to me. I guess that even in this community, I’m destined to be a “friendly acquaintance.”
So, the conclusion is that while I think Lewis was right in his quote above, I think many more acquaintances are born of something in common and the friendships, while born in the same situation, are rare.
What do you think?