I went to see a podiatrist last week because I’ve been having a lot of pain in my left heel. I had three x-rays done before the visit.

As I sat in the exam chair, he pulled up the X-rays on the computer screen and started showing me why my foot’s been bothering me.

He pointed out that my toes are straight, which would have been big news to my mother because I was born with a crooked toe and it still bends under the toe next to it AND it’s on the foot that was X-ray-ed.

He also pointed out that I have an extra bone on the side of my foot which apparently, according to the research my husband has done for his fantasy novel, means that I’ve been touched by magic – in Hungarian mythology. Considering that computers act up when I’m around, I figure it’s just a matter of time before I become a full-fledged wizard, like Harry Dresden.

Anyway, at one point, the doctor sat back in his chair and said, “This would make an excellent teaching film.” I’m not sure that’s something I want my doctor to say while looking at my X-ray!

He told me why I’ve been having heel pain and started laying out options – mostly better arch supports or even shots. Then he looked at my foot and said:

“I wonder if you’d be a good candidate for internal arch supports. Hmmm, that might be an interesting experiment. We do that with children sometimes and we don’t keep them in long. Hmm, maybe if it’s a slow day I’ll call you and say, ‘we have these door stop looking things we want to put in your feet’.”

I sat in the chair not totally sure if he was serious and the sudden mad scientist expression on his face didn’t help.

Then he said, “Oh, we’d never get the insurance to authorize it. Never mind.”