WARNING: LONG VENTING POST
The Girl called me from Washington Saturday night to get her flight info from her dad so she could check in at the airport the next day. While we were waiting for him to find the numbers on his computer, she told me that she’d had an amazing week and that God had been speaking to her, via a spiritual 2×4, the whole time.
Then she said she wanted to have a “long, in-depth” conversation with me about it when she got home, but “I probably wouldn’t like it.”
So, now what was I supposed to think?
She didn’t get home until about 1 am last night so I was in bed so there wasn’t time to talk.
A little background:
We moved from PA (a Philadelphia suburb) to Baton Rouge three and a half years ago. At the time, the Girl was “dating” a boy there, although her parents didn’t know it. It had been going on for about a year or so. At 14/15 years old, dating consisted of hanging out at a mutual friend’s house with other friends but everyone knew they were a couple except us.
She told us this after we’d lived here six months or so and they weren’t a couple anymore. A distance of 1300 miles will do that, plus she thought it was a good idea not to be officially a couple with that much distance.
Well, time went on and he got a new girlfriend who hated my daughter without ever meeting her. Apparently, the Ex-boyfriend continued to be “obsessed” with my daughter, talking about her a lot and whatever, to the point the new girlfriend made a nasty, stalkerish video suggesting she wanted to kill my child.
When the Girl spoke to Ex-Boyfriend about it, he apologized but he didn’t break up with Stalker Chick. This was where he lost a lot of “good guy” points in my book.
Well, my daughter has a big heart and wanted to “stay friends” with Ex-Boyfriend because they were friends before they were a couple. I have explained to her that, in my experience, “being friends” is hard, if not impossible, because of baggage. Still, though, even while dating Stalker Chick, he’d text the Girl, call her cell at 1 am or IM her when he was sad because he and Stalker Chick were having problems.
Now, when we lived in PA, the Girl, Ex-Boyfriend and several other kids who had all gone to the same Catholic grammar school and church were part of this circle of friends who walked to the high schools (a all-girl one next door to an all-boy one) together. The Girl’s best friend, Hockey Babe, attended the same high school but had moved to another town so she didn’t walk with them, but it was her house they all hung out at.
After we moved and the break-up happened, Hockey Babe stopped being friends with Ex-Boyfriend. He apparently got involved with a strange bunch of kids, Stalker Chick’s friends, and Hockey Babe saw bad things happening.
To this day, I think, Hockey Babe doesn’t like him much and they don’t talk. I think Ex-Boyfriend and Stalker Girl are not together anymore and The Girl keeps trying to tell me he’s changed.
Okay, fast forward to now.
A few days ago, while The Girl was still in Washington, she called just to say hi and I asked if she’d seen anyone she knows from PA. I know many kids from the high school and that area go to the March for Life. After all, PA is a bit closer to Washington, DC, than Baton Rouge and we know a lot of priests and good Catholic kids from there.
She said, “Maybe.”
Maybe is a code word for yes, but I’m being cagey about it because I don’t want to actually tell you I saw him.
I freaked a little (Ex-Boyfriend played a lot of mind games with the Girl in addition to not actually wanting to let go of her while dating Stalker Chick) then jokingly said, “So, you’ve had a wonderful few days with him and you’re back together.”
She laughed and said no.
So, now it’s Saturday and she’s told me that she wants to have a long, in depth talk with me that I won’t like.
All day Sunday I worried and missed her a lot.
We went to Mass Sunday night and her best friend here, Gerard (they’re all My Chemical Romance fans – long story), sat with us. I asked her if she’d talked to the Girl and she said yes and she knew what she wanted to tell me. Then she said, “They aren’t engaged, yet.”
Another friend and her mother arrived and Gerard moved to sit with them and I started wondering anew what this big thing was. I figured it didn’t really have anything to do with Ex-boyfriend as it was God talking to her. I thought maybe she was dropping out of college or something. Maybe she’d decided to leave Catholicism.
Beloved told me to stop worrying and to have faith in her. And I did relax. I figured it wouldn’t be so terrible if it really were God speaking to her.
This morning, we got up late and I didn’t have time to do much more than hug her, but Beloved, who had driven her home from New Orleans last night, said the big thing was that she feels she needs to forgive Ex-Boyfriend (I thought she had) and “convert” him. That was a little weird as he attended Catholic school and his father is a Deacon (or was training to be one, last I knew). She said he’s not as devout as she is and she feels God is telling her she’s supposed to show him a better way or something.
I told her what I’d feared and she got really mad. Her father jumped in and said, “What was your mother supposed to think when you leave us with ‘you probably won’t like it’?” She said she can never mention Ex-boyfriend’s name in the house.
I told her this was not about him. It was about the way she is defensive and starts yelling and assuming we’re mad at her.
Anyway, she says there’s more to her big talk than just the forgiveness thing but we won’t be able to talk until this weekend probably.
I keep praying that if they are going to get back together and eventually…well, I just hope he has changed and that I’ll be able to see it.
I’m also praying she can meet some nice guy here!
And I do know that I’m probably anticipating something that isn’t what she means, but at this point I don’t know what to think.
Oh, and we got up late and I spilled oatmeal on the floor.
Maybe the day can only get better!