I’ve belonged to Weight Watchers since May 2006, and as of Monday, I’ve lost 7.2 pounds. There was a point when I was down almost 20 pounds, but I’ve fallen off the program.

I don’t know why because I know the program works and I want to lose weight. I think the problem might be that I don’t want to lose weight ENOUGH.

I have been trying all day to figure out WHY I want to lose weight. Everyone has their reasons for wanting to lose, health, family, class reunion, whatever. I don’t have a strong reason. I can’t really say that my health is the reason because I’m healthier now than I was before the transplant, so that’s not the big reason.

I want to look pretty. I want to have a nice photo to put on the back of a book when I need one. Are those enough? They don’t seem to be or I wouldn’t have gained back 13 pounds.

I want to feel better about myself. I want to get rid of this belly that glares back at me when I look in the mirror. I know I’ll never have a flat belly again – too many abdominal surgeries, but I want to stop looking sloppy when I see myself.

Why isn’t that enough to work hard enough to have already lost the weight I want? I need something I can look at every day and renew my motivation. My husband promised me a while back that if I lost 3 pounds he’d buy me a Sonic Cookie Dough Blast. Well, that 3 pounds is now 6.6 pounds. I’m going to print up a picture of that and post it where I can see it!