It’s been a rough fall and winter at the Brandt household and much of it seemed to fall squarely on my shoulders. Mainly, I guess because I’m at home and I was the one to whom a lot of the medical issues attacked.

A couple of weeks ago, Beloved said he was going to give Mom a break. This week the Boy has Spring Break and Beloved took the week off from work. This is my VACATION week.

Yes, I’m still at home and I still did some chores this morning (dishes and some laundry) but for the most part, after today – or really after I take the Boy to a doctor’s appointment and go to Weight Watchers, the week is mine to do with as I will.

I probably will spend a good part of it writing. My goal is to get Sword & Illusion done this week!!!

Okay, yeah, I’ve said that before, but this is the Done that mean there are only small changes left to be made. I’m pretty excited about it. I want to possibly pitch it to an editor when I get to Nashville in July.

Right now, the Teminix guy is here. We have to have the place treated for termites because we had water damage to Beloved’s workshop due to a frozen pipe a few months ago and when the guy from the homeowners’ insurance checked it out he found termite evidence and they won’t pay to repair the shop until the place it treated. So, the treatment. It did mean I had to get dressed faster than I planned as the guy needed to come in the house. He cut a hole in my bedroom wall behind the tub so the pipe area could be treated. Not thrilled with that, but at least he put a nice looking cover over it. AND most of the dirty clothes had been washed so they weren’t piled up right there!

Okay. I need to take the Boy to the doctor. Talk to you all later. Have a great Monday!

Last weekend, 14 Mar 10, we went to a St. Patrick’s Day parade here in Baton Rouge, and like every parade I’ve been to here, it was more about beads and dancing to great or not-so-great music blaring from long trailers decorated in some tangential way that kinda reflects whatever theme there is carrying people tossing said beads. We had a blast and captured an IMMENSE amount of beads.

Part of the parade were several Celtic organizations and as one of these marching units came by us, a man in a kilt came over to me and asked if he could give me some beads. I said yes and he put some beads around my neck and kissed my cheek! Okay, so he was probably at least as old as me and not nearly as handsome as my husband, but it was fun!

I had my Epidural Steroid Injection on Wednesday. It didn’t take long but hurt more than I thought, and I wasn’t sedated as I thought. They wanted me awake to get feedback on the procedure – they didn’t want me feeling stuff I shouldn’t – so they only gave me a Valium “to relax me.” I was so nervous, I think two would have worked better.

The sciatica seems to be better. I still have some numbness and a twinge once in a while.

However, I went through a minor depression Thursday and Friday. I think it might be the result of not sleeping well and the pain and sleeping meds I’d been taking. Then, of course, I had written myself into a corner on Sword & Illusion and was pretty sure I wasn’t going to have this book done anytime in the near future. (I’m actually taking time from working on it to do this post, so things are moving along now.)

Saturday I woke up feeling a bit better. A Holy Hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament probably didn’t hurt!

I was scheduled to do a panel discussion at BabelCon 4.5 on epic vs. urban fantasy.

Babelcon was a very small con this year, and the “authors’ lounge” and “panel discussion room” was literally a hotel suite and we shared it with costuming people, artists, a geek stand-up comedy troupe, and the D&D Gamer film festival, so there wasn’t a lot of room for book signing. Not that it mattered as I didn’t sell a thing.

The most interesting thing was as I was sitting in a corner of the room, next to an end table with my books and the TV playing the films, this artist woman was talking to another woman across the room. I was located at the corner of a triangle of the three of us, so there was no way not to hear this conversation and the gist of it was this:

The artist had named her breasts.

Literally.

Apparently, she had a big problem of men staring at them when they talk to her so she would tell them they were addressing “Lauren” or whoever. I don’t remember the names of the breasts.

Maybe it’s me but I would never have that problem, and I admit I didn’t look to see if there was an abundance there. It just would never occur to me to do something like this.

However, I think she may end up in a novel one day.

Right after Christmas, I began to feel that we were coming out of the tunnel of trouble that had inflicted this family.

Then I stopped taking my thyroid meds for the radioactive thyroid scan and that affected my emotions and the sciatica came back.

Since then, my mother-in-law ended up in the hospital with a ruptured appendix and after she came home, she developed an infection that put her back in.

A couple of days ago, we had to have one of our guinea pigs put to sleep because she had cancer.

My mother-in-law came home from the hospital today and I found out that I have a carcinoma on my face that will be removed next week.

Today, I was thinking about something I heard on the radio about faith and fear. What if our default setting was to fall back on faith when we have trials instead of falling into fear? What if instead of worrying about this spot on my face and the possible scarring that will occur, I think about God’s grace and trust that He will be glorified through this somehow?

What if I stopped worrying about not sleeping with this pain and just started praising God?

How do you praise God through trials?

I’ve noticed in my life that it seems that Sundays are tough days at our house. The family fights. I feel resentful that I have to get myself and the Boy ready for Mass while Beloved and the Girl only have to get themselves ready. Basically, there is a lot of negative emotions flying around on that day.

Used to be the same way on days we were supposed to teach NFP.

In talking to other people, I discovered this isn’t an unusual phenomenon among Christians. It seems that Satan attacks more strongly on the days that you’ve dedicated to doing God’s will.

So, that got me to thinking today. What if all these trials I’m going through, physically and mentally, because let’s face it — if I’m not sleeping well, and I’m in pain, I’m going to be depressed — what if all of that is because I’m being attacked by “evil spirits” (to sound all whoo-whoo-whoo about it) because I’m doing what God wants?

I don’t think I’m doing anything all that special. I truly don’t believe I’m all that important, but I do believe that Satan’s ultimate goal is to get us to despair; to believe that God has abandoned us or that He could never love us. I will admit, that while I’ve never stopped believing in God’s love and grace, I could easily fall into despair sometimes. I know I’ve thought about how easy it would be to give into the depression and just stop caring about anything. I’ve wondered just how easy it would be to stay in bed and not worry about getting anything done.

Maybe I need to look at things a different way. Maybe I should rejoice in these trials and fall on faith. God will use this pain for His glory and I’ll be stronger later because of it. Maybe I should realize that sitting in the chair writing doesn’t hurt and maybe I need to get this book done because someone needs to read it. Maybe this pain is a way of purifying me and helping me get rid of the excuses I put in my own way, making me focus on what is really important.

What trials are you facing and how can you look at them in faith instead of fear?