Right after Christmas, I began to feel that we were coming out of the tunnel of trouble that had inflicted this family.
Then I stopped taking my thyroid meds for the radioactive thyroid scan and that affected my emotions and the sciatica came back.
Since then, my mother-in-law ended up in the hospital with a ruptured appendix and after she came home, she developed an infection that put her back in.
A couple of days ago, we had to have one of our guinea pigs put to sleep because she had cancer.
My mother-in-law came home from the hospital today and I found out that I have a carcinoma on my face that will be removed next week.
Today, I was thinking about something I heard on the radio about faith and fear. What if our default setting was to fall back on faith when we have trials instead of falling into fear? What if instead of worrying about this spot on my face and the possible scarring that will occur, I think about God’s grace and trust that He will be glorified through this somehow?
What if I stopped worrying about not sleeping with this pain and just started praising God?
How do you praise God through trials?
I’ve noticed in my life that it seems that Sundays are tough days at our house. The family fights. I feel resentful that I have to get myself and the Boy ready for Mass while Beloved and the Girl only have to get themselves ready. Basically, there is a lot of negative emotions flying around on that day.
Used to be the same way on days we were supposed to teach NFP.
In talking to other people, I discovered this isn’t an unusual phenomenon among Christians. It seems that Satan attacks more strongly on the days that you’ve dedicated to doing God’s will.
So, that got me to thinking today. What if all these trials I’m going through, physically and mentally, because let’s face it — if I’m not sleeping well, and I’m in pain, I’m going to be depressed — what if all of that is because I’m being attacked by “evil spirits” (to sound all whoo-whoo-whoo about it) because I’m doing what God wants?
I don’t think I’m doing anything all that special. I truly don’t believe I’m all that important, but I do believe that Satan’s ultimate goal is to get us to despair; to believe that God has abandoned us or that He could never love us. I will admit, that while I’ve never stopped believing in God’s love and grace, I could easily fall into despair sometimes. I know I’ve thought about how easy it would be to give into the depression and just stop caring about anything. I’ve wondered just how easy it would be to stay in bed and not worry about getting anything done.
Maybe I need to look at things a different way. Maybe I should rejoice in these trials and fall on faith. God will use this pain for His glory and I’ll be stronger later because of it. Maybe I should realize that sitting in the chair writing doesn’t hurt and maybe I need to get this book done because someone needs to read it. Maybe this pain is a way of purifying me and helping me get rid of the excuses I put in my own way, making me focus on what is really important.
What trials are you facing and how can you look at them in faith instead of fear?