Years ago when I was in college, I attended a forensics tournament as part of a public speaking class. On the drive back to my dorm (my brother insists they’re called “residence halls” – yeah, whatever), I hit a patch of fog so bad I could barely see past the front of the car. I had to inch along that back road until I could see my way clear to get home.

Often we find ourselves in situations in life where we can’t see the way out. Maybe it’s a financial worry (seems like I worry about finances all the time!) or an illness or an issue with a child.

I think all of us are always in the middle of some kind of fog or other. Some are like the one I drove in that time and others are more minor, like those Claritin ads right before they peel the soft focus off. We think we’re seeing pretty clearly but later we realize that things were a little smudged.

The problem with fog is that we often don’t realize that there is light outside of it. We moan and despair because it seems like there’s no way out and life will be like this forever. And we can look at other people and we can’t see the fog they’re in and we fall deeper into despair, raging against the unfairness of life. Or maybe even God. Why are we in this situation when no one else seems to be? What did we do to deserve this?

Not getting into the whole we’re-all-sinners-and-deserve-worse-than-this scenario, we need to remember tha we can’t see the fog around others and they often can’t see the fog around us.

In early May I got the chance to spend a lot of time with my brother and his wife. My brother is eight years younger than I am but we’re very close, emotionally, if not in distance, and when we’re together, it isn’t unusual for us to go off, just the two of us, and talk for hours.

During this last visit, we talked about how we both feel like we’re always in a financial bind. He said he looks at his friends at church and sees them being able to afford vacations and other little luxuries that he can’t. I know how he feels.

The Girl just graduated from what must be the “rich kids’ Catholic school.” ALL of her friends that just graduated, too, are going on “Senior Trips.” Two of her friends are, right now, on a cruise to Alaska!!!

Her senior trip consisted of us driving to New Orleans to see a place that makes and stores Mardi Gras floats and props. Tomorrow she starts her summer job at Chick-fil-a.

We just don’t have the money to send her on a trip or get her a car. We just don’t.

My brother said he talked to his pastor (he’s not Catholic) about this and the man told him that many of parishioners envy my brother and his wife for their strong marriage.

We just don’t know the fog other people are in and they see us outside of our fogs.

The good thing to remember is that God is outside the fog AND inside the fog. He knows how we feel and how we’re hurting or struggling or angry or frustrated, but he also knows what’s outside the fog waiting for us. He even knows WHY we’re in this fog at this time.

The Boy will be repeating kindergarten because he has some maturity issues and just isn’t ready for the regimented life that is first grade. I mean, these kids change classes and have to know what folders to take to each class. I’m lucky if the Boy knows where both of his shoes are every day!

He also has some ADHD issues that I’m learning ways to deal with, and I’ll be homeschooling him this summer in his reading and math so he’ll be ready to take on a second year of kindergarten.

This probably doesn’t sound like a thick fog to you and it probably isn’t, but to me, it feels a little like a failure on my part. Maybe I wasn’t strict enough with him or maybe I could have done more to prevent his behavior issues when he was in pre-school.

You have an image of what you expect life to be and I never expected any of my kids to repeat a grade. I know it’s only kindergarten and as he just turned 6, it’s for the best, but like when I had my C-section, there’s a little grief as I never saw myself as that person. I never thought of myself as someone who would have a crisis pregnancy and have to have an emergency C-section and I never saw myself as the mother of a child who had to repeat a grade.

Did you see how many times I referred to myself in that last paragraph? Like this whole thing is about me???

Maybe that’s what this fog is about – getting me to not focus so much on ME and to focus more on HIM (both God and the Boy!).

This is a story about MY son, written by my husband.

Gotta say I’m so proud.

I didn’t realize I hadn’t posted in almost a month. Lots of stuff has been going on.

The Girl graduates high school next Monday, so we’re kind of in mild stress mode. My mom arrives tomorrow afternoon with Beloved’s parents and sister coming in on Sunday. Of course, that’s the same day as baccalaureate, so we’re not completely sure how that’s all going to play out and we only have four tickets for that. Given that it’s a mass, it may be that the grandparents will want to keep the Boy home or something. It’s important that he go to mass, but I’m concerned that this one will be long and not good. Plus, Beloved’s sister comes in the afternoon (his parents arrive in the morning) so maybe her dad can pick her up if the mass runs long.

There is also an Honors Convocation on Friday, but again we have four tickets so my mom can go with us.

We have TEN tickets for graduation, in addition to the four for parents on the floor, so we’re set there. Graduation is at 7 pm, so I expect it’ll be a long, late night, and the Boy has school the next morning!

He finishes up on Wednesday, 21 May, at around 11:30 am.

We had a conference with his teacher this past Friday and we’ve/they’ve decided that he should repeat kindergarten. It really is the best decision, given his age and immaturity, and how tough the school is. Still, there’s a little bit of me that’s disappointed, but not surprised. I could see these past few weeks that his behavior isn’t what it should be at this time of the year.

Sigh.

In good news, last weekend (May 3), we had my mom’s surprise 80th birthday party in Akron. She was very surprised, and it was a lot of fun. My uncle (mom’s brother-in-law) and his three daughters came from PA. We grew up next door to them so they’re almost like sisters to my brother and me. His son couldn’t make it, but it was fun anyway. Mom’s brother and his wife came, and as always he had to make a big deal about how Mom’s 20 years older than he is.

The bad news is that everyone gave me their email addresses and somehow in the plane trip back – which was a mess! – I lost them. I found all their snail mail addresses and will send cards asking for the email addresses again.

I’m a point where I can almost see the end of Sword & Illusion. I don’t know if I’ll get if finished soon. Today I have to clean out the Boy’s room so it can be used as a guest room and take dinner over to a friend who had a breast biopsy done yesterday AND get to the gym! I still have 4.8 pounds to lose before I can finish my training with Weight Watchers.

Have a great Tuesday.