I have a beautiful daughter. As I’ve shared scrapbook layouts of her, I’ve had strangers comments on how lovely she is. She is that age where youth and enthusiasm and health come together to create a woman designed to attract a mate. She is lovely.
I just hit 50 years old and while I’m trying not to let that number bother me, I don’t see beauty when I look in the mirror anymore. My husband says I’m beautiful; the Boy is always calling me his “beautiful Momy,” but I don’t see it anymore.
This post kinda got to me this morning.
If I try to look at things through wiser eyes than mine are generally, I can see a woman who has lived a good, fairly full life (not that it’s over, mind you!) and the marks of that life are visible.
I have scars from an emergency C-section to deliver the above mentioned beautiful woman 19 years ago, and 9 weeks before her due date.
I have scars on my right shoulder from a month of hemo-dialysis and a scar on my right side from a kidney transplant.
Those abdominal surgeries have left stomach muscles that are weak and probably will never be flat again, even if I do lose the weight I want to lose. They sag a bit.
My hair is gray if I don’t color it. I have, increasingly, wrinkles that echo my mother’s and droopy eyelids that are clearly my dad’s.
Yet through all this, I usually feel young inside. I’m learning more about writing, graphic design, and life every day. I have a 6-year-old son who is a challenge to raise but a joy to be with, a real gift from God.
I have a husband who adores me and dare I say it? Still wants me, physically, all the time.
Am I 100% comfortable in my skin? I don’t know. I like me. I like the woman I am, most of the time. I have good friends, a wonderful family, people who look to me for advice and sometimes leadership, and I laugh pretty much every day, and I bring out laughter in others.
By our society’s standards, I may not be beautiful like Madonna (who is 6 months older than I am, so what’s up with that??? Lend credence to my “sold her soul to the devil” theory) or the super-model-flavor-of-the-week, but do I need their approval?
I see my writer friends, many of whom are older than I am, and I honestly believe every one of them is a beautiful woman. Do they see me the same way?
I need to stop being so hard on that woman in the mirror. She has a lot of very nice qualities that she needs to celebrate more often.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder — and Steve has a good eye. I’ve been feeling awful about my looks lately — we all go through it. I’ve found little splurges make me feel a lot better about myself — putting in a fresh hair color ($5 from the drug store), getting a brow wax ($8), even just taking the time to iron my clothes before I face the world (which is the toughest of all for me because I *hate* to iron). The point is, don’t let the beauty blahs beat you — we are ALL beautiful.
Yes… Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty comes from within not what you look like. Have you see Madonna before she goes to she her makeup person, she looks like the rest of us (its not pretty)…lol I use to some times feel like you do (will be 40 in April). I have 3 kids and they were all c-sections so I know about the “pouch” it never goes away unless you have surgery. I am not heavy but I am not skinny either. I use to think why would my husband want to be with me( he was married to dancer) perfect body and all. But after a while it was starting to sink in that he loves me for who I am not what I look like(he tells me I am beautiful and sexy…makes me giggle) He’s away in the Army and since hes been away he shows his love for me more and more everyday. When ever we talk on the webcam I am always apologizing for the way I look but he tells me he doesn’t care what I look like because he loves me. But anyways… Do not worry about how you look be who you are. If some one does not like how you look and wants to criticize about it they are very shallow and unimportant.